Of Mice and Boy Mom

"Mice are dumb!" That's how a thirteen year old boy comforts you when guilt over a mouse trap that didn't finish the job turns you into a big bawl baby.

But, getting caught in a trap is not what makes mice dumb. Nor is leaving little love pellets in the cabinet under the sink, that would be what makes mice freaking, gross, germy, disgusting, vulgar, little varmints.

Nope, what makes mice dumb is the same thing that makes this Boy Mom dumb. And, that would be cheese!

I don't know if mice really even like cheese, they're still dumb whether they do or not. I do know that I like only a few carefully selected varieties of cheese. Yet, whenever they sample cheese at Costco I try a piece. Bleaaagh!

Dumb barely covers it!!

We Believe

We're all about wholesome Christian principals here at Boy House.



But some of them make us grit our teeth a little...apparently.

As Easy as Fall...ing Off a Log

This has been an easy fall.



Downright balmy for our lil' old state. Saturday I watched a little girl ride by on her scooter, bare-footed, dressed in shorts and a tank top, it's November in Utah, and it made sense.

And, Ohhh the jump on thankfulness, in this thanksgiving month, when the temperature stays warm enough that no one, gets frostbite at a football game.

But, now that football is over and turkeys are plumped, the green leaves and growing grass is getting old.

I need crisp fall mornings, and evenings that make necessities of hot soup and hot chocolate and long, blanketed cuddles.

So, this morning when Maxine, the most put together, say what she means co-worker ever, told me to enjoy the weather I was expecting another sunny, balmy day.

I smiled at the rain, at Maxine's sarcasm, and walked slowly to the car. At home I took my time falling asleep and woke to the sounds of rain on the roof, the smell of wet leaves, wet boys and new rubber rain boots. Ahhh sensory heaven!

I was so inspired that I put on a pair of warm sweats, a hoodie and... flip flops?? And went to get a... pedicure??? Wha???? I know I'm a nut when I'm operating on too little sleep, I have cute fall colored toes though...the inside of my boots will appreciate them.

Now, I have a fall confession to make.

I have a set of Halloween tree ornaments and...I know, Turkey Day tree ornaments. I was so inspired by the blustery fall weather that I convinced #6 and #7 to hang turkeys and sunflowers on the tree. They made sarcastic little comments like, "What are you going to hang on the Christmas tree next, Mom, Christmas stuff?"

Another fall confession, I made pies, pumpkin and apple, and I didn't share with any friends or neighbors. Not even my Mom. I have a little streak of pie stingy going on 'cause I don't really make pies; but, when fall weather inspires me to venture out of my baking comfort zone and it turns out this beautiful...I promise they were just like this, well that's when I make a cup of something warm and steamy with an extra scoop of cream and I imagine I live life out on the open road. My home is


an airstream trailer, my kitchen table a truck stop cafe', pie and country music is a meal and a change of seasons is just a few miles down the road.

So fall, if you're really out there and today's' rain and cool wasn't a brief interlude in an endless summer, hurry up already, I wanta rake leaves and buy socks and put away the shorts and eat turkey and bite into a frosted apple.

Teams

It's easy, in a family of so many boys, for a sport, that 5 or more boys are playing and a dad is coaching, to become the living, breathing, eating focus of every moment of its season.

It has felt like football had taken over our lives the past few months. School work, schedules, church activities, sleep, meals all of it has been effected.

Except for #4, somehow he just calmly does whatever needs to be done in each moment. At football he is consistent and diligent he plays to the best of his ability and expects everyone else to do the same. He is supportive of other players and does his best to be on time and focused at each practice or game.

School work is finished each day, he even signed up for a study class so he'd have extra time to get it all done.

At the beginning of this school year we signed him up for 8th grade orchestra. He had learned to play the electric bass and we figured it was the same as the string bass. The orchestra teacher (who looks about 17 years old) corrected our assumption that the two basses are the same and let us know that she would accept #4 into 8th grade orchestra only because she had no other bass player in that group.

#4 stayed after school and worked with his teacher 2 or 3 days week. He practiced diligently. We could recognize tunes immediately and were impressed, but we were so busy with football that his efforts largely went unnoticed.

#4's football team was really doing well. Every game won! Playoffs beginning. One night #4 mentioned a concern about a conflict he could see coming. His football games were on Wednesdays and in two weeks he had an orchestra concert on Wednesday.

I gotta admit I'm not that scheduled a person. I figure if I can get through this week that two weeks from now will take care of itself. So I gave him my best advice. "Well, we'll just have to pray that your football game is at 8:00 and your concert is at 7:00 and then you can do both; but, I will support whatever decision you make."

#4 debated the decision for two weeks concerned he would have a choice to make. And, he did! Tuesday before football practice he asked me what he should do. His concert was at 7:00PM his game at 8:00 PM. This was an important game, his couch wanted him at the field for warm-ups by 6:45, he was a starter, and 2 other boys were going to miss the concert for the game.

This is when parenting is really gut wrenching. I'll beat my boys into submission without a flinch; but, helping them decide between two equally important and worthwhile activities, YIKES!

We discussed the similarities between the activities, how football was a team sport and he was important to the team; but, that he was the only bass player and had made a commitment and received a lot of personal help from his teacher as well. #4 decided that we had to do both. So at 6:45 PM, despite the strenuous protests of his coach and his two older brothers, #4 was in his seat, dressed in Sunday best, waiting for the concert to begin.

Adorable Hubby and I found seats and waited. I sat silently praying it would all come together and that we had parented effectively, that the right decision had been made.

7:03PM. The concert begins, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star is squeaked out by the 7th graders.

7:09 PM It was a long, stinkin' version of Twinkle, Twinkle...

7:10PM The orchestra teacher begins explaining exactly how she wants the students to practice, she has them demonstrate each technique.

7:20PM Adorable Hubby has elbowed me so many times in the ribs that I was actually thankful, for the first time ever, that I have padding. And, I was seriously questioning my parenting.

7:25 PM 7th grade Orchestra leaves the stage and 8th grade files on. Thankfully they are seated quickly and the lone bass player is perched on a stool bow posed ready to begin.

7:26 PM The first song starts, the deep, perfectly tuned notes of the bass add fullness and harmony to the music.

7:29 PM The song ends and Adorable Hubby and I are in tears as the teacher praises the efforts of this group, she begins to put the microphone down for the next song, Adorable Hubby and I sigh with relief, she brings the microphone back to her mouth. "Oh one more thing, we're so thrilled to have Ben Smith here tonight as our bass player he has done a years worth of work in just over a month."

7:30PM Adorable Hubby and I can't see the stage. Yep! We both know that we're big boobs and that one of us has big... never mind.

7:33 PM The second song ends #4, Adorable Hubby and I run for the car.

7:50PM After a quick in car clothing change including a stop at home for forgotten cleats, lest you think #4 isn't all forgetfully normal teen boy, we arrive at the field.

8:00PM #4 begins his best game of the season. Boy Mom cradles a hot chocolate and gives Adorable Hubby a few, I'm not a nut job parent after all, elbows to the ribs.

10:15 PM #4 comes into our bedroom for a goodnight hug. Adorable Hubby tells him, "Now don't tell your brothers I said this... you played an incredible game tonight and I was very proud of you; but, I was even more proud of your efforts in orchestra."

We're an all boy house and sports seasons, especially football, can consume us, thanks to our amazing son who's choices reminded us that life is most beautiful when it is balanced.

And, last night his team won the middle weight championship. Football season is officially over. YAY!

Costume Made Halloween

This was an odd year for Halloween it being on Sunday and all. I am usually ready to go with decorations and costume boxes to be dug through and costumes decided on by the 15th at the latest. But, this year it was hard to get in the spirit (a little Halloween joke) and my usual Halloween night soup, and treats Hangout, a 7 year tradition, was on the 29th, which coincidentally was the same day as the three little boys school costume parade and my second day of cooking (Usually cook for at least three days) first day of decorating and cleaning.

The costume box found it's way to the living room on the 28th around 8:00 pm which is when #5 decided to use the 11 year old wizard costume first worn by #1 and #6 decided on the 12 year old grim reaper cloak most often worn by #2 (a child with a darker humor) and #7 grabbed a Sponge Bob costume given to us last year by who knows who.

The 29th dawned cloudy and cold and very early. At 7:10 am three boys were on my bed with the bag of colored hair sprays and face paint left over from last year.

#5: (round faced 9 year old) Should I wear this wizard hat or this wizard hat?

We have two wizard costumes and a lizard costume, one year due to #4 and his inability to pronounce his L's we had a Wizard, a Wizard and a W(L)izard. I love all the memories that haunt me when I open the costume box each year. (I know, I've obviously eaten way to much pilfered trick or treat candy and really need to knock it off with the lame Halloween humor attempts)

Boy Mom: (Very sleepy 40 something) We could forget the wizard hat and spray your hair gold. (As she smears white and black grease paint on a pale skinny #6 in his too big grim reaper costume)

#5: Do wizards have gold hair?

Boy Mom: (yawning) Duh! They can have whatever hair color they want...they're wizards. We could spray your hair black. ( to grim reaper boy)

#6: (He was already pale, probably in anticipation of puking his guts out later that night, and with the white face paint and black around his eyes...) Actually, Grim Reapers have white hair.

#5: Actually, Grim Reapers have NO hair.

#6: Actually, you're right!

#7: (Excited, Blond, 6 year old in a sponge bob costume.) Actually, can I have blue hair?

#5 and #6: (Loudly and in unison) You're Sponge Bob???!!!

Boy Mom: (Feeling her first caffeine craving of the day) Actually, I could use a couple more hours sleep...Arghh!


We had a lovely get together with friends, some have been coming to celebrate with us for all 7 years now. Decorations were up! Soups were hearty! Treats were abundant! House was mostly clean! Puking didn't start until 5:00 AM or so.

And even though it seemed an odd year it ended up being a Bootiful Happy Halloween!

If I pinky swear no more Halloween humor, will you all come next year?!!

Pink Mystery

Not a lot of pink laying around at boy house...just isn't there.

Also, you would be sadly disappointed if you were looking for a girl toy. Wait, we have those.. so to speak, uhh hmm... I believe I'm trying to say, play items directed towards the interest of little girls.

Take baby dolls for instance, we did get one once. Just before #2 was born I bought a baby doll with a little blue pajama sleeping bag outfit to prepare #1 to be a big brother. He held it for 20 seconds or so, handed it back and patted me on the leg, "You baby, Mom." He said.

That baby doll was loved on briefly by each of our sons when they went through the figuring out the difference between mommies and daddies phase. And, that baby doll, he remained clean and in his little blue pajama outfit until little girl cousins came to play... Y'all, girls are hard on baby dolls. They draw on them, undress them, drag them out to the sandbox....

Any who, the other day my American Girl catalog arrived in the mail. This is a super sized, super little girly magazine full of dolls and every accessory imaginable for dolls themed to different eras of American history and the beautiful faces and customs of the many immigrants that make America.

I get the American Girl catalog because at some point, a few years ago, I was sure I would get a little girl some day and that she and I would delight in all things pink and girly...I was probably delusional from puking non-stop for 5 months with morning sickness.

On the second page of the catalogue is pictured row after row of versions of the original doll. All the same face, full cheeks and a darling mouth with two perfect little white teeth; but, with nearly any combination of hair color, skin tone and eye color so that your little American Girl can have a doll that looks uniquely like her.


#7: Mom what's this. {He hands me the magazine with a confused look}.

Boy Mom: It's a catalog of baby doll stuff.

#7: Huh????

Boy Mom: For girls.

#7: Ohhhhh!! {He looks at the rows of dolls on the first page.}

#7: They're all the same! He's confused again.

Boy Mom: They have different skin and eyes and hair so the doll can look just like the girl. Which one would look like you?

#7: Hmmmm, {he has to check, he climbs up to look in the mirror.} I have white hair and white skin and blue eyes. {Our boys don't learn hair color words until they're umm...18?? }

{What??? it just doesn't come up.}

#7: I'm like that one. {He points at a blue eyed, blond doll.}

Boy Mom: Good job! Shall we look to see what kind of clothes you like to wear.

#7: Uhhh, {he gives me a why on earth would we do that look} Let's look to see what doll Lily is. {Lily is his best friend who is a girl.}

#7: Hmmm??? {He intently studies the pictures but just can't figure it out.}

Boy Mom: What about this one? {Points at a Lily looking doll.}

#7: {Peering closely at the doll.} Yep, I think you're right Mom. Her has Brown Hair like Lily. Her has brown eyes like Lily. And, her has... buck teeth?????


Did I mention that female pronouns aren't learned at an early age either?

And that I'll be cancelling my American Girl catalog.

Powelling Around

First! Will someone please hurry over and SLAP me for that post title!

In Utah and surrounding states we are known for our amazing sandstone canyons. Many are national parks. Zions! Arches! Capital Reef is one I've spent a lot of time hiking and swimming in. These are crazy beautiful creations of nature and I never get tired of hiking, exploring and discovering for the bazillionth time each little nook and cranny of brilliantly colored canyon, dry, sandy riverbed floors enclosed by, 100 foot straight up on either side, rock walls.

Pictures (mostly pirated from friends cameras) are of me and my boys and the many friends that have joined us at Capital Reef over the years. I include them so you'll have a picture of how how incredible these parks are and then be able to imagine how cool they are when you add water. Just Add Water... now that would have been a good post title.



One of these canyon areas, carved by the Colorado River, is Glen Canyon which at some point (really not in the mood to research a Utah history lesson here) was filled with water when they dammed the river so that desert states like Utah, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada and California would have water available year round. This huge man-made lake, well known to folks in the Western US as Lake Powell is named after a one armed explorer (really, he had one arm).

Lake Powell is a hugely popular recreation site and we have some friends who have a house boat. They have asked us many times to come down and hang out with them so, over fall break we went. Neither the other Mom nor I brought our camera so you'll have to imagine how fun it was and how great we all looked in our swimsuits four days straight.

I worked up until the day we left so trip preparations, which usually for me include, multiple changes of clothing for every family member , any food and drink item imaginable, 5 or more preparation only trips to stores, a spotlessly clean(in case we die and someone has to go through it) house, all the laundry done and a valiant effort to lose 50lbs and get into Olympic triathlete shape all in one marathon 24 hour rush the day before we leave, were severely limited.

Yes, of course, Adorable Hubby and the boys love my OCD trip preparations...OK! I'm lying! Preparation for this trip was exactly their style. We made it to Costco with no menu plan carefully written to include food preferences, allergies and favorites of each person in the travel party, with alternative meal items and specialty foods. We bought some stuff! We went to a football game, came home found a couple coolers, went to bed got up 45 minuets before we were leaving, yelled at everybody to put on a swimsuit grab a blanket and some pajamas, piled in the suburban and pulled out.

Fortunately our hosts were terrific and didn't mind that between #5, #6 and #7 there were two pajama pants and 1 shirt, and that #3 wore Underarmor underwear as a swimsuit, I never did quite figure out if he didn't bring a swimsuit or just thought it was an acceptable option. They also didn't complain that there was no garlic in the Alfredo sauce even though I insisted that no floating marina store would be without garlic and that it would be worth the 45 minute trip.

We spent four days zipping over the lake, wind in our hair, soaking up the last rays of sun, swimming, eating, skinny dipping...uhhh chunky dunking, laughing, climbing up huge sand hills, making inappropriate sand shapes, eating, laughing, exploring, building rafts, eating, listening to bowel sounds, laughing and wondering why it had taken us so many years to get to Lake Powell.

Thanks to our Pals the Gardner family for being such terrific hosts, for finally getting us down to Lake Powell and for the best fall break ever,"We'll Powell around with you any time."

Really, really needing that slap right about now...