Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Toys From...


Last night I ran to the bathroom, can someone please tell me how many years of daily kiegel exercises it takes to overcome the bladder control issues of carrying and birthing seven children? OK back to topic, so I'm running to the bathroom only to find the door locked. I knock, nicely I thought considering the urgency of the situation, I'm thinking, hallelujah! one of my children has discovered the need for their privacy while using the restroom, perhaps soon they'll give me some. Wrong, Benjamin my 10 and 1/2 year old opens the door fully clothed, wet hands and cupboard, a bundle of towels on the floor, a guilty look on his face; I sit down, while I ask what are you doing and begin picking up the towels, now that's multi tasking. Before Benjamin answers Buzz Light Year, soaking wet and covered with soap rolls out of the towels; I, assuming it must be Adam(it's his Buzz Light Year and he has a thing for chaos in the bathroom lately), yell "who did this?
"Mom, I'm just washing him," Benjamin finally answers.
"Benjamin he takes batteries, you don't wash battery operated toys, you know this! Does he still work?"
I push his buttons, he still says "Greetings, I am Buzz Light Year, I come in peace." Only now he sound like one of the green alien guys from Toy Story, creepy! I usually don't mind to much when noisy toys lose their voice, but this one has to last till Christmas because Grandma, who gave Adam Buzz for his birthday(picture), found the matching Woody toy for Adam's Christmas gift. I wonder what strange voices we can conjure out of poor Woody?

A few minuets later, as I'm not so much helping my rug rats pick up the toy room but picking it up for them, I toss a little stuffed dog in the toy box only to hear an eerie child's voice start into a prayer..."Dear God hear my prayer for all your creatures everywhere..." This is a sweet little child's prayer but coming from a four inch stuffed dog with his eyes closed and arms folded who cannot be shut up until he gets through the entire prayer is frightening.

Lights out, every one is down for the night in their own bed, Yea! I'm walking in the dark around my bed when suddenly an engine revs under my feet I jump into bed nearly beheading Richard and we lay there hearts pounding as motion activated Lightning McQueen revs his engine for about a minuet. It's surprising how loud a toy can be in a quiet dark house in the middle of the night.

The thing that gets me is I am intending to spend the next month buying the loudest, most frightening, creepy toys I can find so that my children, and some of yours, will think I'm a really great parent/aunt. Go figure!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Brown Sugar Muffins

I used to make these muffins for breakfast all the time. Jeremiah and Benjamin often say, Mom, remember those really yummy muffins you always used to make us?

Cream together:

1/2 c. butter
1 c. brown sugar
2 eggs

Sift together:
2 c. flour
1 t. soda
1/2 t. salt

add to creamed mixture with

1 c. milk (I use buttermilk)
1 t. vanilla
1/4 c. nuts (optional)

mix well, don't over mix
fill well greased muffin tins. Bake at 375 for 15 - 20 mins.
18 muffins

Crumb Topping
1/2 c. butter
1 c. brown sugar
1 1/2 c. flour
1/4 c. nuts (optional)

blend together with pastry knife or fork until crumbly.
Sprinkle evenly over muffins before cooking.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Sick of Sick

I'm starting to get a clue, it only took seven sons, that sleeping face to face with a coughing, feverish, child is not so much an act of motherly love but an act of insane stupidity. I took all the vitamins and tried the Zicam pills; still, this morning as I'm holding Adam on my lap at the doctors office, while he's experiencing the miraculous disappearing symptoms at the doctors office cure, I'm coughing my lungs out. We didn't have to see the Doctor, the nurse, who's such a sweetheart, told me that croup is going around and they can't do anything, she gave me some more medicine for my breathing machine and sent us home, always nice to get out of the Doctors office without spending $100.00.

As as I feel myself getting sicker and sicker I'm noticing that I have a child in each of the childhood stages of illness. So for those who don't know, or for those who need to know they're not alone, here are Susan's stages of childhood illness.

The What is Wrong With You Stage:
This stage takes place before acttual symptoms appear and may be characterized by incessant whining, and heartbroken crying about everything..." My chicken nugget is to crisunchewey, wahhhhh!" In certain children (Adam) this stage exhibits as a mad dash to do everything that they know perfectly well they shouldn't while sassing, back talking and threatening you with every punishment you threaten them with. Towards the end of this stage you will probably hear yourself scream"You're going to the doctor and you had better be sick."

The Doctor Stage:
This stage is marked by the child's rapid descent into symptoms, fevers, coughing, runny noses, vomiting, diarrhea. The Mother then, feeling guilty over her less then tender feelings toward her stage one child, cares more tenderly for her child while going through the, do I take them to the doctor debate. During this stage you will hear yourself thinking, "Do I take him to the doctor? I don't have three hours to waste today; maybe it's just a virus; he'll be okay, maybe it's pneumococcalhantamenengitalecolitic mutating bacterial viral disease; I can't afford another trip to the doctors office; he's burning up, I'll let him sleep with me; I'm a terrible mother I should make him eat more veggies." It's important to know that no matter how deathly ill your child appears the second you walk in the door at the Doctors office all symptoms will disappear so that you can feel like an idiot as your, desperately ill, child dumps out every toy, fights with all the other symptom free children over the slide the bead thingey, manages to pull the wires out of the slide the bead thingey so that all the beads fall off, rips a book or two and nearly tips over the fish tank.

The Futile Attempt to Get Medicine Down Them Stage:
Why is it that a child who will eat candy they find on the ground in the grocery store parking lot, school glue, boogers or three week old pizza they found under their teenage brothers bed, will fight each and every attempt to get fruit flavored liquid in a cute little dropper within three feet of their mouth.

The I'm Once again Invincible Stage:
"I don't need a coat." "I hate broccoli, and carrots." "I couldn't find my shoes." "Why can't I have chocolate cake for dinner?" "I don't like vitamins, they taste nasty." "I'm not tired...all my friends stay up till 11:00"

There you have it my stages of childhood illness, it should be noted that all of them are greatly exaggerated by mom getting sick herself.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Little Blessings

Yesterday as I stuffed my face with my brother-in-laws, awesome rotisserie turkey and Richards incredible mashed potatoes I found myself thinking of little things I'm thankful for. Of course I'm thankful for all the big stuff, but lately, it's the little things that get me.

So here is my 2007 Little Blessings List:

*I'm thankful when my mother-in-law does Thanksgiving day at her house, last year it was at mine.
*I am thankful when I wake up an hour or more before I have to actually get up, there is nothing better then a little more sleep.
*I'm thankful for the nights when none of the three children in bed with us blow out a nitetime and saturate my sheets.
*I am thankful for my weaknesses, they teach me more then my strengths.
*I am thankful for others weaknesses, they make mine seem more bearable.
*It's always nice when the suspicious looking underwear in the clean clothes turn out to, actually be clean.
*I'm really thankful when I notice that the toilet has been sprinkled before I sit on it.
* I'm thankful that my sons games of front yard football have pruned all my plants (grrr! I'm trying anyway).
*I'm thankful that Adam tells me "You my best friend, Momma" when he's not telling me he, "hates me" and he's "gonna tell his daddy to spank me."
*I'm thankful for a little spanking every now and then.
*I'm thankful for slobbery hugs and kisses instead of sticky hugs and kisses.
*I'm thankful for a sixteen year old who still views hauling his two brothers back and forth to football practice every night as a chance to drive.
*I'm thankful for primary teachers who show up or get substitutes.
*I'm thankful that my failure to lose a single pound this year hasn't caused a single New Years resolution...yet.
*I'm very thankful for Jeremiahs' teachers over the last two years and great teachers everywhere.
*I'm thankful that what gets talked about with girlfriends, stays with girlfriends.
*I'm thankful for boy hugs.
*I'm thankful for smiles at the grocery store from understanding strangers.
*I'm thankful for Thanksgiving, a little holiday tucked between Halloween belly aches and Christmas shopping, that makes me slow down and thank God for all my little blessings.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Erections lasting longer then 4 hours...

I walked in the bathroom tonight to find Adam sitting on the cupboard with the entire contents of my mirror cabinet pulled out. He had opened my hair gel and left little finger marks in it, he had opened my foundation and makeup and smeared them on the counter top and his shirt. He wouldn't have any clue what to do with make up because he never sees his Mom put it on, I consider myself lucky to get out the door with a shower, deodorant and clean clothes.

I began putting things away, not to worried because this was nothing for Adam... I'm just glad n he's hasn't repeated the Apple Beer bottle incident(see post Mom Enjoy a Little TV). As I was putting things away I noticed he had opened a pill can which had contained an unknown number of herbal female libido stimulants. I looked all over the bathroom and couldn't find any pills and all Adam could say was, "Dey're up high, I pup up high mama".

I even looked on the top of the mirror only an inch of dust... As I recall these pills are two years old and were very nasty herbal tasting greenish looking things. Since lately, Adams' diet consists of a gallon of milk and a force fed bite or two off my plate each meal, I'm pretty sure he didn't eat them; but, I sure don't want to have to make that call to the doctor. "Hi, my three year old has an erection lasting longer than 4 hours???

Monday, November 19, 2007

Playing in the Leaves






Saturday was leaf raking day. I love my three huge trees and I love my two big boys who did all the work and I love my three little boys who played and played and played.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Haircuts


Everyone in the Smith household got a haircut yesterday. Thanks Grandma, you're awesome...just a couple little things we noticed, you didn't wash Adams face
and Benjamin's
hair (bottom picture)
looks like it
could use just
a little more
off the top.



Our Family

Our Family