I'm Back...Hack,Cough, Wheeze, Kind Of

On August 31 #2 came home from football practice collapsed on the couch for a couple of hours then woke up with a 103 degree fever and congestion from hell, sorry no other word works.

The next day I recognized the tattle tale announcement call from the High School. Only it wasn't telling me #2 had missed classes that day. Instead, it was an announcement that there were several documented cases of H1N1 flu (Swine Flu) at the High School. Really.

So for a month now various members of Boy family have dropped like flies.

On the 15th at 9:45 PM I was celebrating a day well multi-tasked, not a frequent occurrence in my life. I was just finishing up the dishes when things started disappearing, like my ability to not cough every 3 seconds, and my comfortable 98.7 body temp. Eventually I lost my sense of smell, my household maintenance skills, my voice, bladder control, the ability to breathe without pain, and control of all the little messers that live 'round these parts. For a couple days there I just freakin' wanted to die.

Things are slowly coming back, bladder control had better hurry it up, 98.7 is back, I can breath without much pain if I keep it shallow, I cleaned the kitchen Sunday. And, to the chagrin of the messers, my sense of YELL is back.

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts! And, get your Piggy flu shot, you don't want this bad boy.

Hacking and Burning

Quick, clap your hand over your mouth and nose. Now, back slowly away from the computer screen. With your other hand grab antibacterial wipes, Lysol or straight undiluted bleach will do. Wipe down that monitor, mouse and keyboard, wipe out your eyeballs, wipe those germy thoughts out of your heads. ''Cause folks, you don't even want to chance getting what Boy House has got.


I miss y'all back soon!

Never Fails

If you wake up and put on a grungy old t-shirt and sweats, go for a run, come home really stinky and do a little yard work, mud and grass stains, then the dishes, wet belly, and If your hair is really awful and you opt out of putting your shoes back on before dropping your youngest off at kindergarten.

Yep!

You'll have to pry him out of the car, carry him in past all the cute little mommies and daddies kissing their first little child good-bye while your stubborn baby of the family repeats over and over, "I'm SO not going to kindergarten today!" at the top of his lungs.

Then you'll have to sit, looking suspiciously like a homeless person, for 10 minutes at the door by the, "Quick good-byes leave dry eyes!" sign so he doesn't run out and head for home, again.

Never fails!

Boo Hoo

I was thrilled to get #1 into kindergarten.

Not so much #7.

He's my baby! How can my baby be ready for kindergarten? OK! Ready may not be the best word here. When his teacher asked what letters he recognized he pointed at capital I and said, "Bicycle pump". So that makes the sum total of his kindergarten letter readiness, A, X, O and Bicycle Pump. Sigh

I'm celebrating that I only had to put his underwear back on him twice before holding his little, sweaty hand all the way to school. And, no I didn't check to see if he still had underware on when he got home. I figure, what happens at kindergarten stays at kindergarten.

When your baby goes to kindergarten are you officially old?

Toothsome Tuesday

Saturday night for dinner we ate corn dogs, watermelon, and corn on the cob.

We weren't at a carnival or a fair.

No children were involved in the meal planning.

I'm a little scared of what this means for the rest of our meals this summer.

I looked good serving my menfolk their dog-ka-bobs. (See actual photo below)



























Is it just me or has your summer menu gone white trashy too?

What the...

I mentioned that in a house hold of three teenage drivers I get little drive time. I also mentioned that my well loved burgundy-red Suburban is no longer my own. It reeks of sweaty sports gear, and boy cologne, where I once kept car activities, diaper wipes and socks so my fellow shoppers didn't think I was one of, "Those Moms" there are now multiple sticks of deodorant, toothbrushes and homework assignments due last May. My CD collection has mysteriously disappeared and the replacement CD's are played at volumes measured in megahertz not decibels. Worst is the gas tank, it hasn't been full for two years now.

I cleaned it all out a few weeks ago, filled the tank, restored the diaper wipe stash and headed out of town with my three little boys for a summer get-away. The red-gold setting sun lit our way, the windows were down letting in the evening air, my tunes were playing, the little ones singing along. I congratulated myself on reclaiming my vehicle so efficiently.

A few miles down the road I reached beneath the seat for my bottle of Figi water and felt something unfamiliar, a handle?

I grasped and pulled it out. Instantly, like a twist in a bad horror movie, I'm driving down one of the countries most conservative, safe stretches of I15, evening breezes in my hair, little ones singing, the setting sun glinting off the blade of the 12 inch hunting knife gripped, psycho killer style, in my suburban, soccer mom fist.

What the... and I just may have used the last word of that phrase.

Word

Oxymoron is a great word!

It can either mean this :

Oxymoron

a figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect, as in “cruel kindness” or “to make haste slowly.” (I like the more modern incongruity coined by Arnold Schwarzenegger, "girlyman")
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Origin

1650–60; presumed GR >oxymorum oxýmōron, neut. of oxýmōros sharp-dull, equiv. to oxý(s) sharp (see oxy ) + mōrós dull (see moron )


Or it could be this:


Oxymoron

a cream indicated for use in controlling acne and/or stupidity.
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Origin:

2009; presumed GRaveyard shift 3:39AM oxy zit cream (see benzoyl peroxide) + moron your stupidity should be medicated (see grrrr)



Redefining words, one of many reasons I should not work graveyard shifts.