Going To The Birds

Adam, like most 3 going on 4 year olds has a very active imagination and earlier this spring he discovered he was afraid of birds; so when he ran down the hall and into the kitchen saying he was afraid of that bird hopping around our house I rolled my eyes and exchanged an, Adam's imagination is at it again, look with Jeremiah.

In my defense I did ask Adam where he saw the bird and Jeremiah walked down the stairs and glanced around. Since neither of us saw anything and Adam is, well... Adam, we didn't think much of it.

Two hours later I walked back across the street from my moms' where I had been trying to convince my 12 year old boy that taking summer band for seven days and not having the French horn figured out does not mean he is a failure. As I approached the house Jacob and Isaac had a tale to tell.

Isaac: Mom, There was a bird in the house, I saw it sitting on the couch and I told Jacob, "Jacob, there is a bird in the house sitting on the couch in the living room".

Jacob: (holding the lid from the Lego box and the empty beanie baby basket) I didn't believe him so he said, "Come see for yourself".

Isaac: So, then I said, "Jacob I'm not lying, come see for yourself". So he came in and saw the bird. How did a bird get in our house? Why do bird's go in houses? Do you think it was a baby bird, it was pretty big I think it was a grown up bird, well maybe it was like a hmm... I guess it was a kid bird. Oh and I got to touch it and it didn't bite me. Ahh Mom, it was such a cute bird I think we should have caught it and kept it for a pet.

Jacob: I trapped it and let it go. It flew into those trees.

I guess I should take Adam more seriously; imaginative though he may be.

Oh, and just in case you wondered... the Beanies babies were dumped out on the floor and there they remain, I can't find the Lego box lid and we still have no idea how a bird got in the house.

Well Duh!

Today I heard this discussion between 6 & 7.

Joseph: Adam, How high can you jump?

Adam: All the way up.

In The Name of Science.

Lately visitors, to our very classy home, have been favored with viewing a piece of green, moldy bread, neatly encased in a Ziplock bag in each of my windows. Each bag says Jeremiah on the outside and probably should include the start date, which window and a few other vital pieces of information that sixth graders tend to forget when they conduct science experiments.
The other day when organizing my freezer this is what I found. This was one of Joshua's latest science experiments; another of Joshua's, in the last three months, was three shoe boxes with different colored Christmas lights poked through holes in the top to give light and warmth to the seeds in dirt filled plastic cups. This one was in the corner of the living room throughout the holiday season adding, an oh so lovely accent, to the decoration boxes I couldn't seem to get emptied and back to the storage unit, piles of school papers, the mountains of laundry, the half finished neighbor gifts everywhere.

Not to long ago my entire dining room table was a pinewood derby workshop complete with every tool we own, sand paper and spray paint, nails, stickers, string and a few two by fours that Joshua was cutting down to build a special launcher so that he could experiment with running his car on CO2... Oh and did I mention a saw. On my dining room table folks which is the first sight you see when you come into our home.

I could just chalk all these exasperating messes up to being the number one, on the job joy of raising boys, although I had already given given that dubious honor to the bathroom, but then I got to thinking...what if I blamed all the housekeeping tasks I let slide daily as being science experiments?

Brilliant, these aren't dirty dishes in my sink. This is an important experiment to determine how effective dish detergent and fingernails are on dishes left sitting for longer then 24 hours.This is not lint left on the dryer because someone didn't return my garbage can to the laundry room after three days of asking, pleading, threatening them to dump it in the outside can. This is a study on the absorbency of dryer lint...it's possible that all those lost socks weren't eaten by the dryer, just maybe, lint is powerful enough to actually absorb socks.This suspicious looking spill down the front of my fridge is not there because I don't wash down my fridge daily. No, this is a Nobel prize worthy trial on the possibility that three year olds can adversely effect gravity by making spilled chocolate milk run up a white fridge instead of down to a brown tile floor.And, for my favorite, laundry, this is not stacks and, stacks, of never ending laundry; no, cruel world, this is a highly scientific approach to seismic reinforcement for my, not up to earthquake safe, home. When the 'Big One' hits I will be safe buried under mounds of dirty laundry, which, being stacked to the ceilings, kept them from collapsing. All you efficient, well organized, fold it out of the dryer types out there will be neat little pancakes, buahhaha (evil mad scientist laugh). That' s my scientific theory and I'm sticking to it.

Tribal Markings

Last night when I called the boys up for dinner Adam and Joseph proudly showed me their legs hands and feet. Here are a few pictures.





Adam: Momma, look. (as he holds out his hands, legs and feet while sitting up to the bar and over hot pans and bowls of food ready to eat)

Mom: Where's the marker, what else did you write on?

Joseph: Mom I put the marker away and we only wrote on each other. (as he gives me a, how stupid do you think we are, look)

Mom: Why did you write on each other?

Joseph: We are playing a game.

Adam: I'm the Daddy tiger.

Joseph: No, Adam you're the Boy tiger, I'm the Dad tiger.

Adam: I'm hungry, I want rice!

Joseph: I'm only eating meat, tigers eat meat.

Adam: Tigers eat rice.

Mom: Sigh!

What's up with war paint, tribal markings? I have this picture in my head of how it all started; two little cave boys rushing into their cave momma and covered in mud stripes. They proudly hold their little appendages up for her to see, dangling them over the hot, steaming mammoth roast that's ready to eat.

Cave Momma: arghmph, what you mud?

Cave Boys: huhmph, mud good, saber tooths. (as they proudly point to their chests.)

Cave Momma: Whatmph?

Cave Boys : Tiger, kill, mammoth. (as they use their muddy hands to draw on the walls of the cave.

I bet Cave Momma told them they had to clean the mud off the walls which would be why, today, we have hieroglyphs, and scrubbing sponges, and Prozac.

Empty Threats

One of the great joys of parenting is empty threats. Although Super Nanny and a plethora of Ivy League child development specialists tell us, in superior voices, that empty threats ultimately undermine parental ability to affect childhood behavior; I say, in a very practical, cause I'm freakin' livin' childhood development with MY kids, voice, that empty threats have their advantages. Empty threats are fun, they give you a chance to calm down and distract the little dears from their current behavior, they help you laugh at yourself, they teach children the difference between fact and fiction, empty threats encourage creative thinking and help children see that they may be being just a bit dramatic about life.

Ok, before you go all DCFS on me, let me assure you that I have deep respect for Childhood experts and I know that empty threats destroy little psyches and border on abuse and I would never realllly use an empty threat, but if I did here are a few of my favorites.

Moms to children:

I brought you in to this world and I can take you out.( Not if taking them out feels anything like bringing them in.)

I'm going to heat that food up and serve it to you for every meal until you eat it. (Isn't that called leftovers?)

If you don't eat your dinner you won't get desert. (They know I wilt after three whines.)

If you don't pick up your toys I'm going to throw them all away. (Yeah, Right I paid for the dang things.)

If you don't change that attitude I'll change it for you. (This is my favorite, until they start asking what an attitude is)

If you won't be quiet I'm going to tape your mouth shut. ( Doesn't work, I've tried it.)

If you hurt yourself I'm going to spank you. (This little gem is my Mom's)

Dad to kids.

If you don't knock it off I'm gonna stop this car and leave you on the side of the road.(But Daddy, just this morning you called me your little tax break)

Do you want we to break my foot off in your arse?(This is gonna hurt me more then it'll hurt you, might actually apply in this case)

I'm gonna blister your butt. (Is it possible to actually raise blisters?)

Do you want your balls cut off?(Umm, no)

If I find one of those lying around I'm going to stuff it in an orifice you don't want me messin' with. ( Gross.)


OK, so what are some of your favorites? Leave me a comment and I'll post it on my blog.

When does school start again?

There are many things I love about the Christmas holidays:
I love not having to get two teenagers out the door by 7:30AM.

I love not having to get home from the gym in time to plead, argue and cajole a very grumpy six year old out the door while his OCD brother freaks out about being late to school.

I love that I can pretend laundry does not exist and not worry what will happen if my ten year old wears the same clothes for two weeks or my three year old wears... umm!

I love not having a set meal schedule, we eat what we want, when we want (all the candy is gone but the tooth brushes are still in the stocking).

I love not worrying that one of my school age kids will let it slip that I told them a chocolate orange was fruit and cookies were the same as cereal. This is a little meal that Adam Prepared.


I love having time for fun activities with friends and families. My BFFL, Suzie, met us at the Bowling alley with two of her boys and our only little girl, Lily.



There are a few Holiday inevitable's I could do with out:

"I'm bored" uttered by one or more of my children every five minuets because it's to snowy to go out and play.

Dishes, dishes, dishes.

Sleep over schedules, Isaac and Joseph were packed for a sleepover at their cousins by the fifteenth.




Messes.


Projects that have to be done by the New Year such as Primary manuals and eco systems(thus the new addition to our family).





Rough housing that turns into fights. It's cute when it's the two littlest, not so much when it's the two oldest.



Make up work for school.

Garbage, I have two very large garbage cans that are overflowing.

Stomach flu, could it be possible that chocolate oranges and cookies are not fruit and cereal?

Ah well! as I said they are inevitable.

Hope you're all enjoying your Winter Holiday as much as we are.

Our Merry Christmas

Here are some pictures and a few of the highlights of our merry Christmas. It began with my 11 siblings gathering at my brothers house on Friday the 21st for our Christmas party and gift exchange. It was fun to see everyone, only my sister Carolyn and her family were missing, her husband Darren is in Iraq and she didn't want to drive over from Colorado. We missed them and Mike, my nephew on a mission in Guatemala, and his brother Trevor who choose friends over his aunts, uncles and cousins, what's up with that?

Then Joseph's birthday party Saturday morning and Sunday choir and sharing time. Sunday night Richards family came for a birthday party for Joseph and Dorothy, Richards sister Cori Ann' s darling baby girl. We had presents and Chicken Cordon Bleu and loved watching Dorothy eat her 1 year old cake. Dave and Linda and Janell came by on their way home from St. George, fun to see them twice in one month.

Monday I had a million things to do, I guess I should have spent less time Blogging...no I always have a million things to do on Christmas eve. As I was making Cheesey Potatoes for dinner at my Mom's Adam kept running out to the front porch and yelling for Santa to hurry up and come, then he would run to the couch and look out the window and yell, "I think I see him! go check." Then he would run to the front door and look around and run in to tell me Santa was never coming.

Christmas Eve at Moms' was fun, dinner and carols and giant Hershey Bars from Grandma for all the kids(cause they weren't wired enough). Then home with our friends the Baileys for a gift exchange. We got lots of neat gifts and gave our friend Cherrann a little red chair that made her cry, as she was calming her emotions Joshua leaned over to me and said, "Mom, if I get the Wii I will cry like that," he's not only very persistent he's also rather witty. Our boys gave Richard and I the gifts they had bought us, Jeremiah and Benjamin gave Richard a collection of old country music songs, we spent a couple hours listening to music and holding the two little ones trying to get them to sleep. Joseph closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep in about five minutes after being told Santa would leave if anyone was awake when he came. Adam finally fell to sleep after, 5 empty threats, 4 sippy cups of milk, 3 little spankings, 2 scowls from daddy and 1 determined Mommy.




Christmas Morning dawned early and snowy, nice to have a white Christmas. We wouldn't let the kids get up until 7:00 AM after all the excitement the night before Adam was really grumpy about waking up. We had a family prayer then went in to see what Santa had left.










We started cooking bacon, sausage, patties and links, and German Pancakes for 45 assorted friends and family. Richard had to brave the cold to get the meat cooked and Susan made German Pancakes as fast as she could and we still had people waiting in line. We love this six year tradition if you didn't come this year you should definitely plan for next.


This is what everyone did Christmas afternoon, Mom is taking pictures of course, and I think Jacob disappeared downstairs for a nap.
Daddy and Adam were so tired they were both out in under 5 minutes. Joshua and his brothers love the Wii and Benjamin who is into art and had never seen a Spiro graph thought the little travel size one in his stocking was the coolest invention ever.

We ended the day with dinner and more gifts at Grandma and Grandpa Smiths' then went back home to play with our Wii, Mom even played.



Wii wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!