Sunday, February 6, 2011

Classifieds

Tonight #3 chucked a Swiss Army Wallet tin at either Adorable Hubby or #2, I don't think he really cared who he hit, nor do I think he had a good reason to chuck it. Boys just throw stuff.

Unfortunately for him Adorable Hubby, who was a paper boy for many years, caught it and chucked it back at #3 who turned sideways and took the dead on accurate hit to the shoulder. Thus began a discussion of skills acquired as a newspaper boy.

Remember newspapers? They used to be delivered by cute neighborhood boys to your porch or roof or driveway. Your dad used to read the Headlines, then the Editorial page, followed by a discussion with your mom about the idiot opinions of some people and then, if you were lucky, he would read the Funnies hand them to your mom to read and then you got them. If you we're like me you made do with the classified adds (specifically the Personals, always great entertainment, and possibly the Lost pets column on a big news and opinions day) until those treasured Funnies were finally available.

For twenty years of married life, Adorable Hubby and I have never got the paper. I should get one for the coupons but knowing myself, well... Adorable Hubby knowing myself, that is just another well intentioned stack waiting for me to get too. We DO NOT need another one of those.

I do, however, really need to take out a classified.

You see, I have decided to quit fighting to change my sleeping pattern from days to nights every seven days. I've always been a bit of a night owl so, instead of trying unsuccessfully to adjust I'm just going to stay up until 2:30 AM on the weeks I don't work then I'll sleep in until 11:30AM. Now that I've grown accustomed to the embarrassment of hearing the boys tell random strangers at the door and on the phone that I'm still asleep in the middle of the day, it should all work out.

But, nights get lonely. I need a night owl friend.

I'm working on my add, not sure whether to place it in the Help Wanted, Personal, or Missing Pets section.

Wanted: Night time friend. Should enjoy mid-night movies and re-runs of Law And Order SVU. Be available for trips to Wal-Mart and all night drug stores. Toilet cleaning skills are a must. Good listener. Sense of humor. Daily bathing and teeth brushing required(just in case homeless people still use newspapers for warmth). Laundry skills not required but helpful. Knowledge of local all-night establishments is essential. Interviews conducted every other 7 nights at Blockbuster video on center street.

And speaking of classifieds, remember The Pina Colada Song? "...If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain. If you like making love at midnight with two dudes and a cake..."

Turns out there aren't two dudes and a cake involved. I'm a little sad about that, Adorable Hubby is still laughing.

9 comments:

LeShel said...

I do so wish I could be your late night friend. Two things are against us though, I'm so far away and well I can't keep my eyes open past 10 most nights.

Techno Grandma said...

Jenny's cat wants to stay awake all night and play. Check the pets section.

Barbaloot said...

Two dudes and a cake? Never heard that version:)

Good luck finding your night owl friend. I'm busy sleeping then:)

Adams Family said...

Fun post!

Suz said...

You'll find my number in the "Insomnia" section. I would even exercise in the middle of the night if my house wasn't so little.

I will always be there for you, well until my children (Lily) start sleeping all night. I mostly likely be up then too.

Luvs

Suz

Suz said...

You'll find my number in the "Insomnia" section. I would even exercise in the middle of the night if my house wasn't so little.

I will always be there for you, well until my children (Lily) start sleeping all night. I mostly likely be up then too.

Luvs

Suz

Debbie said...

You made me chuckle out loud with the two dudes and a cake! What a riot.

DeNae said...

I had to pop over to this blog to see what you meant by "Boy Mom", and holy smokes! You really mean BOY MOM! Honestly? I really AM jealous. What a neat family you have. (In your header photo, which one is your husband? Cuz whoever it is, he looks like a teenager!)

And I wanted to thank you for your kind words over at Annie's blog. We both know my blog is nonsense, but if you're having fun then I'm doing my job.

Oh, and I love your words to the Pina Colada song. Two dudes and a cake? Bring it!!

AMY said...

Beautiful Blog!
I'm a new follower. Amazed at your house of guys!
I have only one boy and he keeps me busy.
Amy's Life @
www.amyclairejacob.blogspot.com

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