Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tis the Season...Baseball Season That Is

Red dust between my toes, sandals are never a good idea; but, ahhhh those toes haven't breathed in that much fresh air for too many months. Glad I brought a jacket, the popcorn scented breeze is cool, it'll be too hot soon.

The familiar sounds make me feel at home, the thwack of a ball in a mitt, the ring of a hit, laughter, groans, little kids whining for one more treat from the snack shop. Steeerike!

There are the stands full of familiar faces, "Hi, were we on the same team three, two, years ago? The phrases we haven't spoken for 9 months come back easily...

"Keep your eye on the ball!"

"Way to get a piece of it!"


And my favorite, "It's all right, you'll get 'em next time!"

I love the way my boys still leave the dugout to say,"hi", and ask for pointers, which I willingly give them, as Adorable Hubby rolls his eyes. I dread the days when they come over to cry because things didn't go their way; but, not as much as the thought that one day they won't want my hug and tender meaningless words, at least not in public, in front of peers and coaches.

I love watching boys grow, 13 year olds are all sizes and shapes, some are still scrawny with huge feet, others look like they shave each morning. They are finding their personalities and voices as well, it doesn't take long to match parents and boys.

I look forward to this season, like I look forward to spring. It's one of those things that didn't make it into the life plan I envisioned in High School, or college or even after the births of #1 or #2. #3, my first baseman, my miniature Babe Ruth, he brought me this love. "I gotta go say hi to some friends Mom, I'll meet you at the car. Oh and Mom, thanks for bringing the treats!"

"Thanks for bringing me to the love of the game #3."

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Toothsome Tuesday

I was so excited to share this post on Tuesday but our Internet went down. So, as usual, a day late...

Remember a few weeks ago when I posted my concerns for the stability of the universe, upon waking up chubby (that's putting it nicely) and pimply one morning. Remember that I was chubby and pimply in high school so the cosmos' need for balance dictates that my middle years should be slender, perky and lovely skinned. Uhhh?

Then I read The Misplaced Americans blog and realized I had won a prize. Yea for me! And Whew, for the universe!

Drum roll....

My prize package of Brazilian lovin' arrived in the cutest floral box, filled with that Brazilian butt I've always wanted. I also got a lovely Brazilian beach and a tan, a Latin love..... wait, that package might have unbalanced the darn universe again.

What I got was way better, check it out.

That's some fine Brazilian love. Candy, yum! Flip flops, which I wore even though there was 10 inches of snow. Mango drink mix, Sunday when it warmed up a bit I mixed it up, poured it over ice and headed out to the sand box for a few minutes of Brazilian Beach fantasy. Luscious hair conditioner, which I'll be trying this weekend. And, last but definitely not least, a cheese roll mix, which I grudgingly shared with the boys and Adorable Hubby.

The Cheese Rolls were so delish that I just had to find a recipe and try them myself. Ahh, thanks Brecca(that's my vote for your new name), you made all my Brazilian lovin' fantasies come true plus, balanced the universe. You're my hero! Oh, and welcome back to the USA.

Here's a recipe for Brazilian Cheese Rolls so you can cook up your own Brazilian love Fest.
Pao De Queio
Brazilian Cheese Rolls
1c. Water
1c. Milk
1/2 c. Oil
1 t. Salt
1 16oz package tapioca starch (flour)
3 eggs
2 1/4c. grated Parmesan cheese

Blend dry ingredients, mix liquids, oil, and eggs together add to dry ingredients mix well, shape in 1 inch balls place on slightly greased cooking sheet. Bake 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Delicious filled with cream cheese or ham.

Tapioca starch can be found at local health food stores or ethnic stores, also in the gluten free section of supermarkets.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday's Muttered Mumblings

#6 is my strong, sober, silent type son, from his first breath he has been a serious little fellow. We've always said he was a deep thinker and tried not to press him to chatter, but we always do a little internal happy dance when he does share a deep thought.

Not to long ago Adorable Hubby and I were visiting in one room and could hear #6 playing video games in the other room. Apparently the game wasn't going well because all of a sudden we heard #6 let loose with a curse,"SUCK A DUCK ON A BIG YELLOW TRUCK !" he yelled, at the top of his lungs! Adorable Hubby and I burst into silent giggles and high fived.

Today #6 was in a talkative mood, it started this morning as he and #7 and I discussed a neighbors rambunctious puppy.

#7: I'm not going outside anymore, that big dog always chases me!

#6: Well, at least he's not a poisonous dog.

#7: I think he IS a poisonous dog.

Boy Mom: a poisonous dog like a poisonous snake?

#6: Yes, except if a poisonous snake bites you then you just die but, if a poisonous dog bites you, that's real bad.

Boy Mom: So, what is worse than dying of snake bite?

#6: If a poisonous dog bites you, you start acting like a, dog. He whispers the last word.

Boy Mom: (Thinks) Where did you get this load of crap? (Says) Wow, sure hope we don't have any poisonous dogs in our state.

#6: Don't worry Mom, I think they only have them on TV.

Later that morning I heated up leftover hot dogs for lunch. I had two types, regular hot dogs and Brats. #6 and his little friend decided to each have a Brat, three bites into it #6 handed me his brat and said, "I think I'll change my mind and have a regular wiener dog, that other wiener dog was to spicy."

#5: Hot dogs aren't made from Wiener Dogs!

#6: Yes they are!

#5: No they're not! They are made from pigs!

#6: Uh uh! They are made from Wiener Dogs, that's why they're called hot dogs AND wieners, Duh!

Gag! I had a salad for lunch.

I believe it's time to encourage more talk from #6, his deep thoughts are beginning to worry me a bit.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Daddy's Presence

I went over to my Mom's today to take some pictures of a large branch she lost as a result of our spring blizzard this week. This was a very wet heavy snow and it got caught up on the blossoms of the Purple Leaf Plum trees that my Daddy loved and planted prodigiously in his yard. If quantity counts Purple Leaf Plums were one of my Daddy's favorite trees, their beautiful burgundy colored leaves and pink blossoms are a sight I look forward to all winter. They signify springs arrival in my heart and the joy my Daddy had that he could return to his landscaping profession and begin again the hard work of earning a living for his wife and eleven children. The cold, hard, barren, winter was over and though there would be mud, sore muscles and long days, planting and growing had returned with the flocks of birds that flitted about in his blossoming trees.

My boys bounced happily on the large branch and I caught some amazing pictures of spring and my feelings for my Daddy.

I believe it's in the movie, Always, that one of the characters who has died is told, "The only regrets we have on the other side is the love we left unsaid." Perhaps my Daddy left a lot of love unsaid or perhaps I felt I could only hear it while I still had him here with me. He was with me this afternoon, watching my youngest boys jump and shout with the joy of youth, he was there, marveling at the tangle of branches and the fearless finches. We breathed in the hope of new growth and the sorrow of decay.

Thanks Daddy, for speaking love to my wintering heart, thanks for the beauty of an angel wing always close, warm in winter, promising that spring is near.

Truth in Advertising?

I'm starting to get a complex, or at least some understanding as to how last years mysterious 40 lbs. appeared in all the wrong places. Awhile back I added advertising to my site, heavens only knows we could use the extra income that we would get if all my wonderful bloggy friends clicked on the adds each time they stopped by.

I'm starting to realize that those google advertisement writers are pretty clever, whatever you blog most about determines the type 0f advertising placed on your site, makes sense...

What The...?

Why are my adds always for food or recipes?
Go ahead Google, rub it in. As if swimsuit season right around the corner isn't bad enough.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What A Difference A Day Makes

Remember a similar picture taken at about this angle on Easter Sunday? Yep, 4 inches of snow, Spring Break sledding anyone?

#7 has the perfect clothing choice for crazzzzyyy spring weather! Long striped pajama pants for warmth and to save on laundry. A flip flop for those warm sandy days in the back yard, a snow boot 'cause you never know when there will be four inches in April. Shirt...optional, with #6 pants are optional so consider yourself lucky.

"Brrrr!" Said #7 as he walked out wearing his spring break outfit. He went in and put on a t-shirt and decided bare feet were the perfect solution.

Snow on the apple trees!

Shivering tulips!

Nourishing earth, thirsting.
Burgeoning buds, bursting.
Winter crystals caress.
Spring gifts bless.

I have to confess that I love spring snow, it just makes for such amazing pictures.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

Spring has hopped into Boy Yard, the layer we called the death and decay of winter turned out to be a blanket of protection and nourishment! Gods Hand is in all things it is a matter of Easter perspective.

Easter Sun!
Easter Flowers!
Jacobs Ladder!
Easter Yellow!
Easter Tootsies!Spring Textures!

Blooming soldiers! Can you tell I love feet? And Spring ? And all these amazing growing things in my life.
Easter Blessings!

Friday, April 10, 2009

What The...Fridays

Adorable Hubby is the breakfast chef in our family. He makes incredible buttermilk pancakes, cuts them in bite size pieces for the little ones, drizzles the perfect amount of Mrs. Buttersworth maple flavored corn syrup over them and keeps 'em coming until seven boys are stuffed.

For me, 'cause he's just that sweet, Adorable Hubby spreads the perfect, ultra thin layer of creamy peanut butter over one, well done pancake, then tops it with the perfect amount of organic, real, maple syrup...HEAVEN.

Over the last two months Adorable Hubby has allowed #5 to wheedle a role in his super secret pancake process; #5 gets to flip the last few pancakes then take them off the griddle and put them on a plate. #5's eyes light up and he swells with joy when he gets to be just like Daddy.

This morning as I was scrambling to get the four youngest ready for school and preparing a project for #6's kindergarten "Spring Party," Adorable Hubby and #5 made a small batch of pancakes. Everyone off to school and the project ready to go, I walked in the kitchen to clean up from breakfast, "Mom don't look over here or you'll ruin your great surprise!" Says #5.

I immediately looked!

What the...

#5 had spread about 1/2 a cup of chunky peanut butter on one HUGE, soggy, pancake and was spreading 1/2 cup of creamy peanut butter on another huge, soggy Pancake. His eyes were shining, he was making Moms' pancakes just like Daddy. He squeezed maple flavored corn syrup over the whole thing then announced he would sit with me while I ate it so I wouldn't be lonely.

What's a mom to do?

I hope he didn't notice the 1/2 pancake, disguised as a glob of peanut butter, left on the plate.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Monday's Muttered Mumblings Brings you: More Bathroom Cr...err, Stuff

A burning question seems to have resulted from my last post. Why do men have nipples?

I'm glad that my pathetic efforts at a creative post caused a rumbling in your... brains.

So I pulled out all my fascinating bathroom reads and will present a small excerpt from each, are you not thrilled?


This delightful little reference guide answers all, well I guess not all, hence the sequel, WHY DO MEN FALL ASLEEP AFTER SEX?, the questions that you'd love to ask a personable, cute doctor, including why do men have nipples? But, just wouldn't dare. Unless of course you were drunk, which doesn't work because who remembers anything useful that they learned while drunk. Not that I'd know anything about drinking (pause, as I lament my uncheckered past).

Here is the answer. "We are mammals and blessed with body hair, three middle ear bones, and the ability to nourish our young with milk that females produce in modified sweat glands called mammary glands. Although females have the mammary glands, we all start out in a similar way in the embryo. During development, the embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, when the male sex chromosome kicks in for a male embryo. The embryo then begins to develop all of it's male characteristics. Men are thus left with nipples and also some breast tissue...Abnormal enlargement of the breasts in a male is know as gynecomastia. Gyneocomastia can be caused by using anabolic steroids. So, if Barry Bonds ends up coming to the old-timers game with a pair of sagging 44DD man boobs, then I think we will finally have our answer to the steroid controversy. "

The best thing about WHY DO MEN HAVE NIPPLES? And it's riveting sequel, WHY DO MEN FALL ASLEEP AFTER SEX? Are the dialogue pages that let us glimpse the brilliant minds of the authors Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg. M. D. OK, brilliant may not be the operative word here, but funny definitely works. I give this book two nipples up...hmm, perhaps that last bit was over the top, sorry?

Continuing on...


Some time ago I began receiving a mail order catalog called THE PYRAMID COLLECTION. This catalog promotes itself as, "The catalog of personal growth & exploration." I would translate this as, " The catalog for earthy, mystic gals with beWITCHING, personalities." Not really sure how I got on their mailing list, but I have come to love this eclectic catalog. Every three months or so I get in touch with my inner psychic as I peruse it's fascinating collection of products, from Edwardian Velvet Dresses and Divinatory Pendulums, to Edgar's Greatest Hits (as in Edgar Allen Poe) and Belly Dance Fitness DVD's.

I keep this catalog coming by occasionally ordering a ring or a bracelet to give as a gift to my witchy sister. And though my inner eye is occasionally caught by a tempting pair of Lace-up Thigh High Stockings. One size fits most. Color: Black $14.95, I am able to restrain my mail-order shop-a-holic tendencies by channeling the Chakra candles on page 33 and imagining the raised eyebrows if I showed up at Cub Scout Pack Meeting wearing an, I Feel a Sin Coming On, Tank Top with matching Skull and Cross Bones Clogs.

When a trip to the potty finds me in a playful mood I grab my dog-eared copy of:

READ MY HIPS The sexy art of flirtation.

I am a flirt at heart but, practical application has eluded me most of my life. Self diagnosed as a bad case of shyness and a Mom who just didn't have a genetic flirt manual to pass on (love ya anyways, Mommy), I have taken my quest for flirty prowess to the experts. I'm not really sure what qualifies one to author a book on, "The sexy art of flirtation" but Eve Marx, you've changed my life. Who knew that, "In the greater vernacular of body linguistics, having a great behind is...priceless! Unfortunately most women are sadly insecure about their butts. We always think they're too big, too wide, too soft, too low, too round, too dimply, too jiggly--just too, too! But before you dis your derriere, you should know that a big, high behind sends a powerfully sexy message. It's a subliminal siren call to booty men everywhere. So the first thing you need to do, above all else is start lovin' your bottom. Because for every women out there who hates her behind, there's a man out there who would give the world to worship it That said, letting your butt do the talkin' is a time-honored female to male communication."'

Who knew? I was under the impression that all my butt was saying is, "Get off me already!' And, "Lay-off the Salt and Vinegar chips, Girl!" Turns out some male out there wants to worship it. Adorable Hubby has been telling me this for years, but something about, Read My Hips, coquettish advise, and pouty delivery makes me believe that I could totally flirt my way into the hearts of men folk everywhere.


Love it! Cute clothes, darling swim suits, shoes, this is my go to guide for what's happening in fashion, real fashion, not, "Oh My Gosh, I'm an anorexic starlet!" fashion. It's also the first catalog I ever requested.


A recent acquisition, thanks Paul, "Not only does this volume collect some of the best reportage from The Sugar Beet website and newsletter, but it also features all-new punctuation and new material that's never appeared elsewhere."

You probably need to be Mormon or at least live in Utah County, although some parts of Idaho would qualify you, to "get" the hilarity of this peek into the oxymoronicness of our Latter Day lives; but, if you can laugh at your own foibles this is a GREAT Bathroom read. Plus it would probably be easier then say, the Ensign, to substitute for toilet paper when your home storage runs out in like 3 weeks instead of the year it was supposed to last.


These are publications I compulsively buy in the check-out line of the grocery store. I suppose buying a healthy living magazine after loading my cart with ice cream and licorice, is my little nod to self-flagellation. Ha! like I need an outside source to reinforce the constant internal whipping I'm trying not to give myself about my body.

I do glean loads of useful information about healthy living which I am willing to pass on to anyone who needs advice. One day I plan to take my own advice, then I'll really be working that talking butt thing.

Well, that's it people! Hope your burning question was answered and, if you ever experience a burning sensation in the water closet that doesn't apply to the quest for knowledge, I hear our blogging friend, Mr. Nurse Boy, is the 'go' to man for all your 'go'ing questions.

I loved your toilet reading suggestions, by the way, and may have to switch the reading drawer for the towel drawer so I can add to my collection.

Friday, April 3, 2009

What The...Friday

Wow! A whole week of being away and still only the slightest trickle of inspiration despite some Herculean effort, thanks all you bloggy people out there. If you haven't read the comments on my last post you've missed poo, penis stretching, toffee, and cheap dates, it's worth the read.

And speaking of reading, I've decided to let you in on a little secret stash of mine. It's in this drawer... It is my comfort in times of stress, my guilty pleasure, my escape from reality. Yes, it's my bathroom reading stash.

What The...

"Mavis, get in here, she's talkin' potty!"

As I said, it's a trickle of inspiration.

When Adorable Hubby walked in and saw me taking photos of the toilet, he shuddered, I'm the only women in a house of 9 males, the only reason for me to be in the restroom with a camera would be photographic evidence of criminal lavatory behavior.

He closed the door, I waited, the door opened again, "do I dare ask?" He said.
"Blog!" I mumbled. He closed the door.

So, what do you read in the, little girls room?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Inspired By You Wednesday

Saturday I wasn't silly!

Sunday I was silent!

Monday brought not a single mutter or mumble.

Tuesday was not toothsome.

Today I'm stalking your posts looking for inspiration. Who will inspire?

Our Family

Our Family