Mondays Mutterings

Does anyone else think g-mail sounds naughty? Or am I the only one that giggles inside every time I hear it?

I have a terrible icky confession. I have mice. It makes me feel dirty just saying it. We inherited the mice with our house. I've heard that during the Great Depression hobo's would mark homes where kindness and a warm meal could be found were living in a marked house. Bet none of you knew that this economic downturn effected the rodent population, yep, I think, thanks to my crumby boys, we've got a rodent stimulus package going on right here at Boy House. Since I can't set traps for the boys I'm setting traps for the mice. You'd think that the overwhelming smell of straight chlorine bleach would be clue the little beasties in but alas they just waltz right into the traps and then I feel guilty all day. Sigh!

May I recommend coloring? Yes, coloring like you did when you were a little kid. Sunday Adorable Hubby and all 8 of our sons sat around the table coloring. Such peace and tranquility has not blessed our house for many days.

I bought a cute shirt on Saturday for, wait for it... $6.00 I love deals and I love having something new to wear.

#6 has been learning a lot in first grade. He announced tonight that he can count to 100 in high fives. Way to go #6 give me five.

My sister has been in the hospital for a week and a half fighting for her life and quality of life. She suffered a ruptured aneurysm. Her name is Laura, she and her beautiful family could use your prayers.

Hugs and love to all my bloggy friends.

Happy Monday!

Haute Cuisine

Adorable Hubby makes several meals that leave us thinking he should open a restaurant. Last night we enjoyed the best steak and everything's on the planet. At the conclusion off the meal #5 proclaimed, "Dad, you should open a restaurant called Boy Families Steak and Everything's So Good You Won't Even Know they have Peppers, Mushrooms and Onions on Them."

Uhh, wordy but it has a ring to it. I'd eat there.

#2

Seventeen years old? It's just not possible. My handsome #2 is seventeen today.

He is an amazing son, with a personality designed to teach me much of the beauty and weakness of my own soul, they say the ones most like you teach you the most.

All he wanted for his birthday is a really nice camera. I'm going to try to upload some of his pictures taken on his cheap cruddy little camera so you'll know why I will make whatever sacrifices necessary I need to in order to help him follow his dreams.



















































Sorry about the funky spacing, just can't get google to cooperate.

Mondays Muttered Mumblings on Tuesday

Halloween is over but I didn't finish decorating and cooking until November 1rst. I don't think I'll take it down until December 1rst. I'll just add some turkeys.

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Why do I always tell myself I'll swear off sugar until Christmas the day after my kids have gathered 78 lbs of candy from the neighbors. I'm such a dieting tard! We all know it's never gonna happen, especially with 5 dozen left over sugar cookies with orange flavored icing.

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Sugar cookies with orange flavored icing...YUMMMMMM!

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Sunday morning #6 asked me to turn off the lights so he could watch his Halloween glow stick glow. "Uhhh, the lights aren't on Sweetie." I said. "I can do a lot of things but turning off the sun isn't one of them." He didn't miss a beat, " The weather man can!" he stated. Sheesh, all this time I thought weathermen were on the nerdy end of the cool-0-meter! Cool-O-meter... Weathermen, get it? Never mind.

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There is a woman who goes to our church that is a single Mom with two boys. Since she moved in she has figured I was a great option for free child care since, after all, my entire life is centered around caring for boys. What difference would two more make?

Picture Kate Goslin hair, only platinum blond, skin so tanned it's freakish looking and a tube of eyeliner a day. Until recently when she added platinum hair extensions and quit wearing make-up, she kinda resembles Paris Hilton as a polygamist wife.

Any who, in September her boys attended one of our boys football games with us and her 9 year old hit number seven in the face with his bike to the tune of $350.00 in stitches. Have I heard a humble heart felt apology from this women or her son? H#*l NO!

I want to hate this woman I really do! But, her older son has been a really good friend to #3 and is really a great kid. So Halloween night I say to Older Son, "Hey, you and Little Brother are welcome to stop by for soup while you're out trick-or-treating."

Around 8:00 PM the door bell rings, on my porch is Older Son and Woman I Really Want to Hate. "Uhh...Hi? Are you trick-or-treating?" I ask.
"No, my Mom is just dropping me off" says Oldest Son.
"Uhh...Are you having soup with us then?" I ask Oldest Son.
"Well sure I guess I could stay" says Woman I Really Want to Hate.

What the...

So she stays and eats soup which she needs salt and pepper for. She spends corners and spends 15 minutes telling my good friend Kirstin all the juicy personal details about her ex-husband and the guy she's dating, and her recent car accident. To which Kirstin after nodding and making appropriate responses to this stranger says "Hi, I'm Kirstin, and you are???" It made me laugh pretty hard but Polygamist Barbie missed the sarcasm.

Later I told Adorable Hubby,"It's like trying to hate a retarded puppy!"

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Hmmm, it's 11:30, #7 is still in nothing butt a t-shirt....and, this post is deteriorating rapidly so... I'm off to eat the rest of the sugar cookies so I can swear off sugar.

Check Mate

I consider myself fairly intelligent and quick witted. My sons are all to quick to knock me down a peg or two lest I should get too carried away in my own cleverness.

For instance, the other afternoon after a particularly trying day with #7 my 5 year old, I asked him in tones dripping with exasperation, "#7, why did you do that?"

He thought, he pursed his lips, he wrinkled his forehead, he screwed up his face and thought really hard, then his face relaxed and brightened as he answered confidently, "Because I'm a kid!"

Ummm, touche, checkmate and all that #7! You ARE one AMAZING kid!

Summing It Up

I assigned #4 a rewrite of his book report on Where the Red Fern Grows. This is what how he summed up his feelings about the book.

"I liked the book because it was an adventure that any man would think was important and the experience would be extraordinary."

I read it several times, I tried to find it on line, it seems too deep a comment for a 12 year old who complained for several hours about writing the book report. I had forgotten that book reports are splinters under fingernails type torture to a 12 year old.

A flood of Red Fern Grows memories washed over me and I could feel the exquisite joy of laying my cheek, flushed from lunch recess exertions, on the cool surface of my desk top as Mr. Beach or was it Miss Hunt's voice unfolded this profound story of a boys journey to manhood in the Ozark mountains. I remembered sitting on the floor in the gym when Wilson Ralws came to autograph copies of his books and inspire us all to grow up to be writers.

Adorable Hubby was so in love with this story that he wore overalls through high school and earned enough money to buy, with his two best friends, three red bone coon hounds. It was my willingness to help him clean out the kennel that won me his love, so in a way I owe my relationship with Adorable Hubby to Where the Red Fern Grows.

Way to sum it all up #4!

#4 is known around here for his profoundly deep thoughts, his adorable giggle, and his sense of extraordinary adventure .

Uhhhh...

All through the week as I go about my fascinating and exciting life I think of hilarious or touching things to blog. Then I find myself with a rare beautiful moment of computer time and can't think of a blamed one of them to actually post.

Remember in lion king when Zazu says to Scar, "Yes, well as slippery as your mind is." I think my mind is slippery, any great thoughts slip away before they can grace the world with utterance.

So here are some really random and not great thoughts in no particular order.

I just listened to Sting, Fields of Gold for the fifth time. Good song! And, Sting = HOT!

Paula Cole has a new album out. Really like Paula Cole and her new album. I'm sure she's thrilled to know I approve of her.

Wouldn't it be great if we could just act on our feelings with out fear or self-doubt. Well, there might be a poor unsuspecting person or two that would die of shock if I acted on some of my feelings. But still...

Did I mention I work with Doctor's. I was thinking... wouldn't it be great if we could read they're amazingly advanced beyond ours brains. It would save them so much grief trying to communicate with us underlings. Plus we might be able to decipher their writing.

My #3 is taking his broken femur like a real trooper. He calls himself a cripple or handicapped and expects privileges. Double samples at Costco, parking passes, no chores, he's even planning on extra Trick-or-Treat candy. It's getting really old!

Yesterday was the Primary Program (church service presented by the 11 years and under crowd). Ohh the sweetness of children singing and sharing their feelings for their families, Father in heaven and the Savior. I cried the whole time! Way to go Primary Kids! Way to go leaders!

Why are Peanut Butter Bars so freaking delicious ?

I don't believe I'll be wearing that cute little clearance dress, in oranges and browns with just a touch of purple, along with a cute pair of legging's for Halloween. I was so sure I would lose the 10 or 50 little pounds that would make it look adorable. Stupid peanut butter bars!

Of all the things that could really bug me about people the thing that really gets me is (this is so dumb) the way they walk. If someone walks weird or worse, runs oddly, it drives me crazy. And now I need to go video myself walking and running...just in case.

My 5 year old said balls and/or penis in church yesterday, then he ran outside and hid for 15 or so minutes scaring Adorable Hubby pretty badly. Duct tape or soap, soap or duct tap, decisions, decisions. Discipline, parenting would be cake if we didn't have to discipline.

The other day I was at the swimming pool with #3, the water is great broken leg therapy. As we sat just inside the roped off kiddie area a little red head girl swam up, ducked under the rope, emerged dramatically from the water, shook back her hair and said, "Hi, my name is Jane but you should call me Ariel because that's who I'm pretending to be. I just love Ariel, I love everything about her, I think it's because I have red hair and beautiful blue eyes just like her!" She looked around as though surveying her kingdom, turned back to us threw out her arms and declared, "The swimming pool is my real world!" #3 turned to me, straight faced, cocked an eye brow and said, "Now, there's a girl who knows what she wants." A girl who knows what she wants? Rare indeed #3, rare indeed.

OK, I'm done!