Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dog Days of Summer

I have never really understood what, "dog days of summer" was referring too until this year.

Apparently it's when your black furry dog sheds his summer coat to make room for the winter coat and the last few days of summer are spent in a cloud of fur an inch thick all over your house.

But, understanding the old saying hasn't really cleared anything up...

Why, does the dog need to shed the old fur? Can't he just grow some winter fur to add to the summer fur, like layering a blouse and a jacket over a tank top?

Does shop vacuuming a dog help with shedding? Oh! Oh! Pick me! I know! The answer is no, not really.

"Wait, your dog will stand there and let you shop vac him? He doesn't run or bite at the vacuum?"

"What can I say, he doesn't get layering either."

And how can a dog with the surface area of...ummm, a dog, shed enough hair to cover the entire surface area of a house? Isn't that a mathematical impossibility?

Finally, and most importantly why the crap did I not see this coming when I stood at the pound, on the other side of the kennel wondering why this dog wasn't barking with all the rest.

Doggone dog days of summer!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

What's In Your Wallet?

I have, after many years, reached a point in child rearing where I can look at my purse as a fashionable accessory rather then a diaper bag.

I celebrated with smallish purses that held the basics, a wallet, lip gloss, powder, girly supplies and a pen.

Then came Hobo bags.

I held out! I was potty-trained...er my boys were potty trained. A Hobo bag was large, it could hold a lot of stuff, I didn't need or want a lot of stuff hanging off my shoulder, whacking me in the back. I've been there and done that.

Then an inexpensive, go with anything Hobo bag caught my eye. It was voluminous. I promised to show some restraint.

Now, I'm the type that gets waved through security check points. Everyone in the party may get ID'd. Not me!

So imagine my surprise the other day when my purse was searched by a security guard at the court house. Apparently the x-ray machine showed some suspicious items.

First, the dour looking guard pulled out a flashlight. Hmm...it does kinda looks like the silencer to a gun, I thought. He turned it on, turned it off then dropped it back in the bag.

I believed the embarrassment for both of us was over.

NOPE!

He continued to dig though pulling out item after item and comparing them to the picture on the screen.

A tinfoil pack of Tuna Fish
Pineapple tags
Muscle relaxant cream in a metal tube
Five lip gloss in various containers
Lotion
KY Jelly
Two sets of keys
A hair brush
A tooth brush
A package of diaper wipes
Two powder compacts
A finger nail file
A glasses cleaning kit
12 pens
4 lbs of coins
Toe separators
Wallet containing 3 more lbs of coins
A tin of Altoids
3 packages of gum
A bottle of shampoo
A bottle of hand sanitizer
2 eyeliners
Mascara
An envelope full of amusement park discount tickets
Two bottles of vitamins
A bubble gum sucker
A Happy Easter pencil
A months worth of grocery store receipts
Coupons
Deodorant
Dental floss
A check book
A Zip Lock of herbal tea bags
And, one tampon

What the poor guy didn't find was the pocket knife he thought he'd spotted.

Can you imagine a Boy Mom purse without a pocket knife? I too was a bit shocked!

I think I'll give my hobo bag to a hobo and downsize. I have no restraint!

Our Family

Our Family