Thursday, September 9, 2010

What's In Your Wallet?

I have, after many years, reached a point in child rearing where I can look at my purse as a fashionable accessory rather then a diaper bag.

I celebrated with smallish purses that held the basics, a wallet, lip gloss, powder, girly supplies and a pen.

Then came Hobo bags.

I held out! I was potty-trained...er my boys were potty trained. A Hobo bag was large, it could hold a lot of stuff, I didn't need or want a lot of stuff hanging off my shoulder, whacking me in the back. I've been there and done that.

Then an inexpensive, go with anything Hobo bag caught my eye. It was voluminous. I promised to show some restraint.

Now, I'm the type that gets waved through security check points. Everyone in the party may get ID'd. Not me!

So imagine my surprise the other day when my purse was searched by a security guard at the court house. Apparently the x-ray machine showed some suspicious items.

First, the dour looking guard pulled out a flashlight. Hmm...it does kinda looks like the silencer to a gun, I thought. He turned it on, turned it off then dropped it back in the bag.

I believed the embarrassment for both of us was over.

NOPE!

He continued to dig though pulling out item after item and comparing them to the picture on the screen.

A tinfoil pack of Tuna Fish
Pineapple tags
Muscle relaxant cream in a metal tube
Five lip gloss in various containers
Lotion
KY Jelly
Two sets of keys
A hair brush
A tooth brush
A package of diaper wipes
Two powder compacts
A finger nail file
A glasses cleaning kit
12 pens
4 lbs of coins
Toe separators
Wallet containing 3 more lbs of coins
A tin of Altoids
3 packages of gum
A bottle of shampoo
A bottle of hand sanitizer
2 eyeliners
Mascara
An envelope full of amusement park discount tickets
Two bottles of vitamins
A bubble gum sucker
A Happy Easter pencil
A months worth of grocery store receipts
Coupons
Deodorant
Dental floss
A check book
A Zip Lock of herbal tea bags
And, one tampon

What the poor guy didn't find was the pocket knife he thought he'd spotted.

Can you imagine a Boy Mom purse without a pocket knife? I too was a bit shocked!

I think I'll give my hobo bag to a hobo and downsize. I have no restraint!

8 comments:

Barbaloot said...

Oh my gosh-you had ALL that in a purse? How heavy was it? How big was it?

I think purses are a necessary evil. But really, I MUST have my wallet, and chapstick, and phone at all times, right? And while I'm at it, I may as well carry a book around with me:)

Kristina P. said...

I love the tuna and the KY. You must live an interesting life. :)

Cowboy mom said...

Yeah the Tuna thing made me laugh!!

So I couldn't help myself I got up after reading your blog and sheepishly snuck into my bedroom and started going through my purse.

I'm amazed at the similarities in contents.

Nonna Beach said...

Wow ! You are ready for anything...LOL ! I just cleaned out my purse and downsized it. I had a neck/shoulder injury and went to 10 sessions of physical therapy and thought I had it licked UNTIL I remembered I was told my purse was way too heavy. Now the pain is returning and I think my huge, heavy purse was the culprit !

Tiffany said...

Those are some....um....interesting contents. KY? Never mind. I don't wanna know. And, why are you going to a court house? Whatdidya do Susan!??! ;)

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

You have some strong shoulders, girl!! I, too, am wondering about the KY and the court house. But, then again, some things should remain private. ;0)

I'll take your hobo bag... still in the unfashionable season. As a matter of a fact, I just bought a new hobo bag last week and tried to tell Nurse Boy it was all in the name of fashion. Ha! It really is a diaper bag in disguise. I'll own it.

Mrs. NB

Suz said...

Don't give up the bag!

You could take out the make up. I never see you wear it and you are BEAUTIFUL all natural, in contrast to me. Who has the entire make up bag in my larger hobo bag.

Luvs
Suz

Just Us said...

I think he was going for the Tuna, and then was going to follow it up with an altoids. If only he could have found some reason to confiscate the purse!

You know this must be the highlight of his day, going through a mom's hobo bag. If you are ever there again and he wants to search, send him out here, and I'm sure he will have much more fun at the Omaha courthouse where most moms are packin'!

Our Family

Our Family