Two Weeks in May

Welcome to Smith Downs for the annual running of the Last Two Weeks of School Derby. This years race promises to provide 'on the edge of your seat' excitement. Let's meet the field of unseasoned but promising newcomers as well as the tried and true regulars.

In gate 1 we have the familiar thoroughbred, Another Dang Baseball Game. He's made a great showing for the last few years and always turns in a good performance.

In gate 2 is the newcomer, Ballroom Team Tryouts. This little filly looks elegant but her owners tell me she is a down and dirty fighter.

In Gate 3 is the tried and true, Dance Festival. The Last Two Weeks of School Derby just wouldn't be the same with out this filly.

In Gate 4 is, Stressed Out Daddy. This veteran is a gritty competitor if the pressure doesn't get to him.

In Gate 5 is Screamin' Momma. On a good day she'll set the pace for the rest of the field on a bad day it's best to steer clear.

In Gate 6 we have, My Band Concert is at Seven Tonight. This three year old always enters at the last minute which can be upsetting to the rest of the field.

Gate 7 is this years home to, Choir Concert, This four year old is a magnificent runner but may be more suited to an endurance race then the Last Two Weeks Sprint.

In Gate 8 it's, Elementary School Carnival. A five year tradition at the Last Two Weeks of School Derby.

Gate 9 is where you'll find, Grumpy Whining Kids. If this horse finds his stride he's a mean competitor.

In Gate 10 is, Sixth Grade Graduation. This horse promises a lot but has yet to deliver a win.

In Gate 11 is Registering For a New School. A scrappy fighter who plays rough.

This year in Gate 12 is, Finishing Driving and Observation so I Can Actually be a Licensed Driver. Let's hope the jockeys keep this horse and Screamin' Momma, separated or this race could turn into a brawl.

In Gate13 is, Anti-Anxiety Rx. Hopefully this horse will be a no-show.

In Gate 14 we have, Allergy Season. This is the oldest competitor but no one is counting him out.

And last but not least in Gate 15 is, I'll Never Do This Again. This nag has come in last every year for the past 12 years but somehow manages to come back each year for more.


Folks, the jockeys are mounted and the horses are in the gates, were waiting for the starting bell here at Smith Downs. There it is the running of the Last Two Weeks of School Derby is underway.


They're off, at the gate it's Another Dang Baseball Game neck and neck with Ballroom Team Tryouts. Allergy Season is coming on strong followed by Grumpy Whining Kids. At the first turn it's Stressed Out Dad, Followed by Another Dang Baseball Game and Finishing Driving and Observation so I Can Actually Be a Licensed Driver . Down the back straight-of-way it's My Band Concert is at Seven Tonight, Screamin' Momma and Anti Anxiety Rx. Registering For a New School is coming up on the outside followed closely by Choir Concert. Around the second turn it's Choir Concert at the rail Band Concert and Stressed out Dad on the outside but don't count Another Dang Baseball game, Screamin' Momma or Allergy Season out yet. And down the final straight of way it's Elementary School Carnival, Dance Festival, Screamin' Momma, Dance festival, Grumpy whining kids, wait a minuet folks, outta nowhere it's Sixth Grade Graduation and I'll never do this again, it's Stressed Out Dad, Screamin' Momma, Another Dang Baseball Game, no wait it's Grumpy Whining Kids, Dance festival Screamin' Momma. At the wire it's Screamin 'Momma, Another Dang Baseball Game and Grumpy Whining Kids.


Thanks for joining us we'll see you next year when Graduation joins the field.