Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Rock On! Hot Momma
I was in the middle of my morning tasks when my 17 year old, still tousled from rising at the crack of 11:30 AM, stumbled into the kitchen to begin foraging for food. He shnuffled around my cleaning, sorting, mothering, frenzy gathering a huge bowl of cereal, four slices of toast and a quart sized glass of milk. His breakfast was on the table when he realized he had forgotten a spoon, so he ambled back into my domain to grab one, children have no idea how fragile life is when they come between a momma and her almost clean kitchen.
As Teenage Son returns unwittingly to the table, life intact, spoon in hand, he pauses turns and says, "You know Mom, I think you must lead a secret double life as a rock star".
For that comment he earns an incredulous look that cries, "This morning I rose at 6:30 AM to get dressed throw in some laundry and exercise, I have watered the lawns and all my flowers, weeded, washed three sinks full of dirty dishes, made four sippy cups and seven breakfasts, started two loads of laundry, picked up and put away 3,975,872 assorted items that did not belong to me nor were put where they were by me, I have reassured a child that his brothers band hoodies will work just fine for him and that not wanting them on a 95 degree day does not mean he won't want them on a 45 degree day so he should go put them in his 'friggin' closet, I have broken up three fights, searched for a Dora Video because the only one in its case on the shelf is not the one my irrationally screaming four year old wants to watch, I've wiped three butts, and I'll be lucky to get into the shower by 2:30, if I'm leading a secret double life as a rock star I sure wish I knew about it."
"No seriously," exclaims teenage son, "You look just like the lead singer for the group Heart." "You know who Heart is right Mom?" He realizes that my not sharing his and his fathers addiction to obscure 70's and 80's rock groups may render his compliment meaningless.
"Sure", I say not wanting to discourage his efforts at complimenting mom type women or look like I wasn't paying attention to rock groups in the eighties, it was my era of teen coolness. And, the idea of any teenager thinking I look like a rock star from any era was starting to grow on me. ( Note-to-self, ask Adorable Hubby who the lead singer for Heart is. )
The rest of the afternoon I went about my chores with a swagger in my step and a little rock star sneer on my lips. After my shower I dressed a little nicer then usual, did my hair and thought about make-up. At the grocery store I smiled at the bag boy, rock stars have to keep their fans in mind. On the way home I left the cookies in the back seat, rock stars watch their figures.
At dinner time Teenage Son says to Adorable Hubby, "Dad, I was reading up on the group Heart on the internet, I noticed Mom looks just like the lead singer Ann Wilson." I bestow my best rock star smile on my darling Teenage Son.
Adorable Hubby, ever the gallant lover says, "I think Mom is a little better looking, but she does look a lot like her".
"Yeah," says Teenage Son, the lead singer for Heart used to be this hot girl but now she looks just like Mom!"