Thursday, January 21, 2010

It's Happened

The other day I watched my sweet crazy neighbor Acel, my boys pronounce his name so that it sounds like ace hole.

Now, anonymous and easily offended readers you may as well stop reading here because I love my neighbor Acel and his adorable but certifiably dementia addled wife Oral, and no, I'm not even making up those names. I wouldn't trade them for any other neighbors, except if my BFF Suz or the Nurse Boys or McTavishes wanted to move into their house, then my neighbor devotion might fade a bit but until that happens, which will be never, traitors, I am utterly devoted to Acel and Oral (You just can't say those names together often enough) so just stop reading now if you are feeling the need to condemn... Erhmm, back to story...

So, I was watching Acel as he broke up the ice that forms along the curb when it snows and doesn't get driven over. He comes out nearly every afternoon to chip and hack at it then spread what he breaks off out in the middle of the road so it will melt. I was thinking that older folks are a lot little odd.

That led me to a tangent of Acel and Oral stories, which include my 12 and 13 year old helping Acel irrigate from 12:30 AM - 2:00 AM and the stories he tells them...yikes. And, Oral's many trips across the street looking for her 2 year old twins, whom she is sure Acel gave to me, "That old *%##%^@#$%^!" Or, the multiple times she has walked unannounced into my house, at any hour, in any weather, dressed only in thin pajamas and flip flops, with a stack of towels and a package of Kotex because she dreamed I was bleeding to death. Yeah, you're telling me! Certifiable!

Yet despite their antics or perhaps because of them they are some of our favorite neighbors and we're pretty sure that the five gallon ice cream bucket with a bow on the handle, filled with potatoes and oranges on Christmas morning was from them.

So today I was coloring my roots, I know, I too am stunned that I have gray hairs, and therefore was wearing my fuzzy blue bathrobe with a towel pinned over my shoulders by a hair clip, I had coloring goo in my hair and halfway down my forehead. I was waiting patiently for the clock to say, "times up, jump in the shower." When, the doorbell rang, the dog started barking and #4 answered the door to a salesman.

There was a time I wouldn't answer the door if I hadn't showered and dressed for the day. There was a time when I wouldn't set foot out of my bedroom without a bra on.

Today I stood in my open doorway, wearing a bathrobe/towel ensemble, gooey hair, forehead turning a lovely shade of Dark Reddish Brown, dog shoving his head between, around and through my legs to get at this fascinating stranger, and chatted about milk, people I knew who had worked for Winder Dairy, his wife going to dental hygienist school and whether she might be able to get a job at the hospital where I work with the darling young salesman whose' dark slightly curly hair, gorgeous eyes and square jaw could have landed him a job as Clark Kent's double.

When I said no to his offer of everything free he had, plus no sign-up fee, gave him my phone number to call back in May, grabbed the dang dog and closed the door #4 stood shaking his head. "You do realize you just carried on a 10 minute conversation with a total stranger dressed in your bathrobe?" He said.

It occurred to me as I showered the coloring goo out of my hair, "It's happened, I am dangerously close to being as crazy as Acel and Oral."


Deb said...

I love it. When one recognizes one's own insanity, one cancels it out.

LeShel said...

I can't say your neighbors names without laughing. I know that's mean but I'm sure I must be pronouncing them wrong because it's just not right.

Anonymous said...

Those are NOT their real names. You lie. They can't be.

Mummy McTavish said...

I'm crying... and shaking... and struggling to catch my breath... and it's perfectly okay because I am laughing so hard! Wolf checked on me half way through the first paragraph then just ignored me.

I'd move in next to you guys in an instant! I love free babysitting...bahahahah, I'm funny aren't I?

Neighbours like that are priceless, you are entertained by their quirks but they are totally harmless, no one throwing dog poop under your front porch, no one setting fire to your trees, just random buckets of potatoes and oranges for Christmas! I'd even move in next to you guys if you were just like Oral.

oh, and the bleeding to death thing... classic!

S'mee said...

awesome, just awesome

mandi said...

Hey, why do you get the awesome story neighbors?? No fair. That is so funny!

Cori Ann said...

I believe you become more insane with every child that you have. Well, you're up to 8 and I'd say that being insane is pretty much a given. I'm only up to 4 and I feel like I've completely lost my mind most of the time. My darling hubby would even agree with that. It's a sad sad thing... but true! Thanks for the good laugh. I really needed it today! Luv ya :)

Suz said...

Well at least you were in your bathrobe and not just chatting away in your "G's".
You do lots of things in that robe. Hair color, pounding chicken breasts with a mallet.( notice how I carefully worded that last part?)
I too have been doing some crazy things but I think it it's the phegren with codine med. I'll just go with that.

I love to take in all the love the older couples express for one another when they come to my work. Love can endure.

Chief said...

Oh I am moving in to your 'hood!

I would love Ace hole and Oral!

you are fantastically lucky!

Lara said...

It's a good thing. You can't be a real person until you overcome all that self-consciousness we carry around. Looks like you've done it, and before you're 80, too! I say congratulations!

PS First time to your blog. Hi!

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

AWESOME!!! It happens to the best of us as we age... not that I would know anything about that!

Thanks for listing me as one of the families that can kick the crazies out. Was that a compliment? ;0)

Mrs. NB

Our Family

Our Family