Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Shopping

I love shopping, not for the great deals or fun new stuff, although that matters, for me the best part of shopping is the other shoppers.

I look forward to the day that I push my cart through Costco wearing a purple velvet sweat suit, scooping up super sized boxes of depends, ensure and protein bars. My lunch will consist of tasty samples and desert will be a giant bag of chocolate Acia berries. I can't wait to amble along peering curiously at all the newfangled products, making sudden unscheduled stops in the middle of aisles to point out a must have 3 gallon bottle of Artichoke Raspberry salsa that I just know the grand kids will love. And somehow, the fluffy, white disarray of my hair, the gaudy jewelry and delight in the whole Costco experience will overwhelm the vague annoyance in younger, hurrieder shoppers.

I wish my name was John McClain, every store I went in I would do something to get my name called over the intercom because then all the other shoppers get to feel like they're in a Die Hard movie and start looking for clever ways to fill loaves of artisan bread with Miracle Gro and cleaning products with possibly a can of spray whip cream as a propellant. Not that it would ever be acceptable to defile artisan bread, even to help a random John McClain or Bruce Willis thwart a terrorist attack at Harmon's (even Bruce isn't hot enough to justify artisan bread tampering). I know the John McClain who's name was called over the intercom on a recent shopping trip, not so much a terrorist deterrent type of fellow; but still, I had a lovely moment or two of Die Hard happiness.

I also enjoy the ways fellow shoppers store cell phones for easy access. There's not room in my bra for cell phone storage but if it works for you... You go girls, uh girl.

Yep, people watching while shopping is one of my favorite funs!

6 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Yippee kayay!

Barbaloot said...

Mmm...free lunch at CostCo. Sounds nice:)

Suz said...

I thought your hair was going to be platinum blue when you were old.

Call me next time you head to Costco. I have missed out.

Luvs

Suz

P.S. I want to finish out the Yippee kayay.... but you know I don't use that type of language.

Cathy Brian said...

Did you ask the little old Lady, with whispy hair, in the purple sweats if it was alright to blog about her? You make her sound so real.

Mayhem and Moxie said...

I often daydream about life as a retiree. I've got big plans for myself too. Some ideas include taking up golf and travel, while others are as simple as enjoying the senior discount at Denny's.

It is the simple pleasures in life, no? Much like shopping at CostCo.

-Francesca

Mummy McTavish said...

When you find a purple velvet sweat suit on sale can you pick up one for me too? I can't WAIT to bug the crap out of all the kids who are bugging the crap outta me now. Seriously, it you are shopping at the busiest time of day DO NOT let your 7 year old with the attention span of a dust bunny push the trolley!

Now, you know that was a generalisation-you not a YOU-you, don't you?

rant over, you may return to your regularly scheduled whatever.

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