Saturday, August 22, 2009

What the...

I mentioned that in a house hold of three teenage drivers I get little drive time. I also mentioned that my well loved burgundy-red Suburban is no longer my own. It reeks of sweaty sports gear, and boy cologne, where I once kept car activities, diaper wipes and socks so my fellow shoppers didn't think I was one of, "Those Moms" there are now multiple sticks of deodorant, toothbrushes and homework assignments due last May. My CD collection has mysteriously disappeared and the replacement CD's are played at volumes measured in megahertz not decibels. Worst is the gas tank, it hasn't been full for two years now.

I cleaned it all out a few weeks ago, filled the tank, restored the diaper wipe stash and headed out of town with my three little boys for a summer get-away. The red-gold setting sun lit our way, the windows were down letting in the evening air, my tunes were playing, the little ones singing along. I congratulated myself on reclaiming my vehicle so efficiently.

A few miles down the road I reached beneath the seat for my bottle of Figi water and felt something unfamiliar, a handle?

I grasped and pulled it out. Instantly, like a twist in a bad horror movie, I'm driving down one of the countries most conservative, safe stretches of I15, evening breezes in my hair, little ones singing, the setting sun glinting off the blade of the 12 inch hunting knife gripped, psycho killer style, in my suburban, soccer mom fist.

What the... and I just may have used the last word of that phrase.

15 comments:

Chief said...

Oh I am so glad I found someone with my testosterone in their home than I! I am going to stick around and get a few pointers if you don't mind!

Robbins said...

I'm sure the people driving next to you were saying "What the..." too! LOL

That's REALLY SCARY!

Mrs Lemon said...

LOL! That is awesome!

Barbaloot said...

Well, I was thinking you were gonna say you found a gun. That's gotta make the knife thing a little better, right? :)

Homer and Queen said...

Yeah...I got a gun for my 27th anniversary...better a knife than a bong...my Numba one not such a good boy...

Valerie aka Mamalovelock said...

Wow!! I would have been shocked too!! LOL at the psycho killer soccer mom!! I can only imagine what the scene looked like! Great post!

hknight said...

So Funny, the joys of all boys! When I get to listen to my tunes I feel pretty cool myself!

Mummy McTavish said...

My rather rotund belly is jiggling all over the place laughing at you right now... and my bladder is thankful that I just emptied it... (TMI?)

"Psycho Killer Soccer Mom"... it's a movie franchise, I can see it now... she'd look just like you... all innocent in her soccer mum SUV, but no one would be able to see the bright orange Hooters singlet she was wearing under her sensible soccer mom clothes... that and the 12 inch hunting knife she kept under her seat just in case anyone needed some "discipline"...

Geez, I'm giving myself nightmares!

Willow Tree said...

Thank God you found the handle end first!! Funny post. :)

Blessings,
C~

Tiffany said...

I'm with Willow Tree. My first thought was,"Oh dear, I hope it's not a condom or dirty magazine." Then, when you said knife, I was just grateful you grasped the right end. YIKES!!!

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Mummy McT again with the awesome comments! I mean, how am I suppose to top that?!?! And, while I am talking about her, can you believe that she still hasn't told us whether it is a girl or a boy?!

Thanks for the glimpse into my future. I think I'll go sleep this image off.

Maybe Sweet Pea will stash a beautiful tiara under my seat one day... that could give me hope for the future.

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Kristina P. said...

You weren't kidding when you named your blog!

Personally, I have always wanted little boys over girls!

Jenny said...

Your welcome! I'm assuming it was the knife I bought # 1 for Christmas. LOL!

Suz said...

I am so glad you left the knife in the suburban and didn't take it on our 2mile hike at high noon, 100 degrees. PMS.... I would of feared for my life, oh wait maybe it would of been good if we had gotten lost. We could of stabbed us a lizard.

Luvs
Suz

LeShel said...

boys

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