Friday, November 13, 2009


Anonymous, it's a tough word to say and a tough concept to swallow. It pretty much means that you are gonna do something really personal whether nice, mean 0r tough loving, without letting the other party know who's on the other side of the personal.

I've heard that some bloggers get mean anonymous comments all the time. I've been lucky to not have any until recently.

I guess someone took offense to my post in which I referred to a women in the neighborhood as a "Retarded Puppy" Oops!

I really considered not posting that bit after I wrote it. It doesn't exactly match the benevolent, delightful, fluffy, do-gooder persona I have concocted for myself. So now you know, and Anonymous made sure that I know, I'm a rude, selfish, even hypocritical, meanie. Thanks for being willing to get personal Anonymous, you're truly a friend.

I'll go back to fluffy now!


Barbaloot said...

My anonymous comments have all been inappropriate ads...not sure which is worse.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

They must know the lovely you! I LOVE your writing!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you didn't delete her comment so I could read it (ha!) and I loved your response!! LOL. Don't you just want to know who this chick is!!! The girl you were talking about....she doesn't know you have a blog does she???? Hmmmmm....just thinking out loud.

Heffalump said...

I don't like Anonymous people. Leaving a comment as Anonymous means they don't have the guts to say it as themselves.

Mummy McTavish said...

anonymous has really been hitting your blog hard lately... and since this is the only way I have to respond to them I would like to say...
Dear Anonymous,
No, thank-you, I do not wish to purchase any pills that enhance ANYTHING, any toys I purchase online are for my children and I doubt you provide anything suitable for their pre-school age range. Yes I did notice that you offer your discount medicines to Australia, you truely are kind to realise that Boy Mom has bloggy friends over here but I think I'll pass on the opportunity. Now please leave my Boy Mom alone, I like her blog the way it is.
Mummy McTavish.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I meant to say that they must NOT know the lovely you.... STUPID FINGERS!!!

But, I DO still LOVE your writing!

Mrs. NB

Deb said...

On the one hand, it is interesting to speculate about anonymous commentators...who they are, whether or not they are regular readers of your blog, what temperature they drink their own pee...

On the other hand, you have to realize that someone who would leave an insulting comment on a blog anonymously is someone so pathetic and sad that they can't even come up with a fake name to leave. Poor life sneaking around, criticizing people than running away. Sad, really.

Gill said...

ROFL bless you... it just shows you are human.I feel that "anon" people that read blogs like yours also feel, that for some reason if they do not agree with what you say or they find something offensive in your text it is their "duty" to tell you. Unfortunately they cannot compete with you on an intellectual level so they reduce themselves to chirlish behaviour! At least it opens room for
a: healthy debate (in this case like having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent!)
b: the magic finger hovering the delete and ban button!!

Keep up with your writing, we who know and love you... Love it! Those who don't.. don't matter! haha


Suz said...

I just love it when the comments are as much fun to read as the posts.

I am not as intellectual as you and all our bloggy friends so, I say DITTO!!!!

Why do you think I follow you around with my tail between my legs? Girl, you go it to together. I don't know what I'd do with out you either! Will you raise my children too? Oh, wait you already help do so.

Unknown to the Mr/ Mrs Anonymous he or she just wishes they had someone so wonderful to admire. Someone to aspire to or just pawn their children off on.

Keep it up you are wonderful.



mandi said...

hahaha! I think that's hilarious! I wondered the same thing - it's not HER is it?? Yikes! I'm so glad that anonymous can let you know your terrible ways. Way to be a moral compass, anonymous! That's too funny. Loved your response, too.

This is exactly why I don't tell people about my blog. How will I talk about them behind their backs?? J/K

Kristina P. said...

Man, that's a lot of boys! I will have to go back and read the comment.

I will say, there is this whole movement surrounding the word retarded. I am not going to say I don't ever use it, but I try not to. However, I work in a mental health office, and we have an intern who will use it. Not cool.

Kristina P. said...

OK, I read your post, and I don't know what anonymous was talking about.

Kathy @ Real Mom, Real Life said...

First of all, I might be a little offended by the Polygamist Barbie comment. After all, poor Barbie. What has she ever done to you! j/k Actually, I had to laugh. You have a great way of telling stories and I am never without a smile when I leave your blog... If I wanted "fluffy" I would read someone else ;-)
I did like the idea of leaving a bowl of soup on the door step though... not a bad plan for some of our "guests"

in time out said...

I love your posts, especially your REALITY....we all think things, just most of the time we filter ourselves...I am not sure that is always best. THis is your safe place...have fun!!! Been missing you!!!

Anonymous said...

What a hoot! Gill is a brainiac and needs for everyone to know it. I particularly love how Heffalump has decided SHE knows all about me when YOU don't even know me. Anonymous can mean a lot of things, like YOU DON'T KNOW ME. drink pee??? Suz, you follow her around with your tail tucked between your legs so she won't post behind your back.'ll always find a way to talk behind peoples backs, blog or not. Kathy...hope someone leaves you soup on the doorstep as well. Have a good day everyone. Keep spreading the love.

Anonymous said...

I am not the original anonymous, NOR the second anonymous, but I am still someone that knows you. ..well. This is not the first time that I have found your blog inappropriate or tacky, but since you're willing to throw it all out there, so will I.

I am BAFFLED that so many people are taking your side on this. Perhaps they are only internet friends, but for you to publicly trash someone on your blog, to an audience of people that know "woman I want to hate" is just setting yourself up for disaster. I hardly know "woman I want to hate" but don't think that ANYONE needs to be publicly humiliated in front of people that know her. Especially without her knowledge. I am so proud of those who stood up for her before me.

Boy Mom said...

Wowzers! Three anonymous comment friends. OK I get it I'm rude, tacky, inappropriate, uncharitable and a bad mother, I cast stones when I'm not perfect myself and I should be rolled in Bisquick,dipped in hot oil till golden brown, shot at sunset and buried in an unmarked grave.

To the Burton Family, Way to go Girl, I am truly sorry that you were hurt and spent time agonizing over how to handle my stupid and rude remarks. You are a remarkably beautiful person inside and out.

To my blog friends, y'all are the best. Thanks for loving me and defending me, even when I probably shouldn't have been defended.

And to the three anonymous friends out there. Thanks! Really and sincerely! I have been struggling since I was very young with self hatred. I hate that I'm fat, I hate that I never know what to say around people. I look in the mirror and despise everything about my look, style, and shape. I never leave a conversation without replaying every word I said and worrying how stupid I sounded. I never go into society that I don't worry about someone or everyone discovering the horrible, nerdy, lame, dorky, tacky, inappropriate, repulsive, ugly, disgusting women that I really and truly hate. No retarded puppy defense I really hate this woman.

So now it's all hanging out there for the blog world to know. And wonder of wonders because of this lame, tacky blog I am discovering that even though I probably am all the hateful things I think I am, that just maybe I'm other things to. Good things, things that are likable maybe even lovable.

So thanks Anonymous A, B and C for pointing out that I'm not fooling anyone. I'm sorry "Woman I really want to hate' both of you. I am just so weary of hiding all the time. There is a part of me that isn't sweet, charitable and Christ like,and until I make my peace with all the aspects of me I won't be all that I can and should.

All of you, thanks for bearing with me as I learn and grow and discover the me that I can love.

Anonymous said...

This is Anonymous A again. I wrote to you because I WAS you. I could cut a person to shreds with less than a sentence and leave the crowd laughing as I did. I was accused of having a tongue transplant with Don Rickles at one time and interestingly enough, I felt much about myself the way you say you do. Then I had an AH HA moment (as Oprah calls them) I realized that it doesn't take much talent or wit to make someone feel bad,(most people already do, as your confession of your own feelings so aptly illustrate) or to elevate my own self esteem by dragging down those around me. What does take talent, and time is to make people feel BETTER about themselves than they did before your interaction with them or as a result of something you've said to someone else about them. That one small change in my life also changed the contemptuous feelings I had about myself as well. Who knew...the law of the harvest is real. I stopped feeling like everyone was judging me because I had stopped judging them. Your recent comment proves one thing. You really are human...and that's the best any of us can hope to be...good, bad, or ugly.

Mummy McTavish said...

18 comments, holy moley girl, I had to have a baby to get that many :)

Anyway, I don't usually weigh in on this stuff but I thought since so many people are I'll join the melee.

How it appears to me, (who doesn't know Boy Mom other than from her blog)... I have always assumed that even though blogs are public, unless you promote your blog as being informative in nature it is still just a journal and the basic rule is "Don't like it? Don't read it".

For this particular drama that has unfolded it seemed to me that Boy Mom was taken advantage of and was venting her frustrations in what she believed was a safe place. She has provided free babysitting, she has taken extra kids to sporting events, she didn't turn them away from her soup dinner, she has had medical bills to foot and it seems that she has had no reciprocation from the other woman other than the sheer joy of basking in her tanned glow. Granted, I got all my information from this blog alone but from what I have seen Boy Mom is not afraid to share her own short-comings (in previous posts as well as recent ones) so I would assume that she would share with us if this was a two way street. It appears it is not.

So, for those of you who disagree with what was written whether you know Boy Mom for real or not, it's time to move on. Perhaps next time you could offer helpful advice on how to resolve the situation without the personal attacks.

Boy Mom, I wish you had a gmail (☺) address on your profils so I could okay this with you before I posted it but please feel free to delete it if you want to end the "discussion". (hugs) MMcT.

mandi said...

I agree with that so much, Mummy McTavish! The comment I made about talking behind people's backs was a JOKE. Some things need to be taken in the spirit they were intended, and sometimes it's just to be silly. That's all. And I believe that all Boy Mom was doing in writing that post, was to vent her frustrations. This is not the ward newsletter, nor is it required reading. #3 Anonymous - if you have been offended on previous occasions, why are you still reading it?

I find it interesting that Regular Reader alerted Anonymous because he/she was so "appalled" by this post. Sounds like Boy Mom's not the only one talking about other people behind their backs. That you would be so offended as to alert someone ELSE in order to anonymously rip on Boy Mom seems so strange to me, and very hypocritical. You say you've stopped judging people? Looks a whole lot like judging to me.

Boy Mom IS a fluffy persona - it's NOT a facade, because there's another interesting fact about her - SHE'S HUMAN. I have to admit that I have a hard time opening myself up to people in our church group/neighborhood, because I feel like I shouldn't be my "real" self. My HUMAN self. Sometimes I am sweet and nice and loving, but sometimes I am sarcastic, sometimes I'm annoyed by other people, sometimes I get angry, sometimes I'm depressed. I have a fear that I will be judged for those less-than-perfect characteristics. This situation has confirmed to me that that's exactly what will happen. Boy Mom is REAL with me, and I'm grateful for that! The things that she does for other people (this particular woman included) amaze me! No, it's not nice to talk about people, and I'm not saying it is. But as humans, sometimes we vent about other people/situations that are bothering us. And she should be allowed to do that once in awhile on her own personal blog. Why don't you praise her for the GOOD she does, instead of jumping on her the second she does something you deem inappropriate?

Boy Mom said...

Mummy McTavish, thanks! You see through to the fun, beautiful, and anguished, hurting side of the bloggers you read in truly amazing ways. I always read your comments on blogs we mutually visit because as Mrs. Nurse Boy says, "How can I top a Mummy McTavish comment."

You saw through the bratty comments to the extensive history with the besmirched woman and understood. My actions right or wrong are neither commended nor condemned you just love. You are a beautiful example of a Christ like women. Those adorable little boys are blessed.

Mandi, ha, when I laughed at your prosecutor dreams I had never read one of your letters. Having read a few now, yikes! Thanks for being my REAL friend. One day I hope to be included as one of the people who helped the world see how incredible you are.

Anonymous A, B and C. Thanks again for your concern for this woman. Ultimately, however it came across, it was concern for me. I do plan to continue to use MY blog to record the experiences of MY life and MY reactions to them, if that is offensive, or tacky, or hurtful, sorry, you don't have to come by and you're welcome to uninvite me to YOUR blogs.

Now in the spirit of Thanksgiving can we all love the diversity of all of us, the sameness of all of us and find JOY in the Journey?

Anonymous said...

I actually REALLY like the Lady your talking should have just used her name....everyone knows who you are talking about :)

Boy Mom said...

Wow, do we have an anonymous(I'm beginning to think this whole anonymous thing is a conspiracy by my Mom to force me to learn to spell anono...anonymous)D.

So D, do you think that if I'd used her name people would have been OK with the whole thing? Seems like it's the behind her back attack which, it seems to me, only worked because I'm not the only one who has made a snap judgment based on looks, that has bugged every one.

And, for the record, I would love to rid my life of judgment of any kind because, hello, that is the fruit of the tree of good and evil that we're supposed to quit partaking of so we can live; but, that is a blog comment for another day.

And as for REALLY liking I said, "it's like trying to hate a retarded puppy." I wouldn't categorize my feelings as REALLY but I do like her and for reasons I won't go into here because I actually am not that cruel or tacky or inappropriate, I really wish there was a more open relationship between the two of us, for our sons sake at the very least, because I do believe that we are all children of God, and because hey, Girl Friend could teach me a thing or two.

Thanks for your comment Anonymous D, I've run the gamut of emotions this weekend from wanting to defend myself which would mean exposing some things about another person that I just won't do in this format, to full frontal assault on Anonymous A-C which I also just won't do, to collapsing my blog and not going to church ever again. So, thanks for the humorous, loving attitude towards both of us. You confirm that the world truly is full of loving Christian people.

Our Family

Our Family