Monday, October 12, 2009

Laugh If You Must

So, once a good friend of mine told me that her truest career dream was to be a prosecuting attorney.

Because I'm super supportive and sensitive to other peoples dreams and aspirations I did the most supportive thing a true friend could do. I laughed. I'm such an @$$ sometimes. I still feel really bad about it.

I think she's forgiven me because she's a really great person just with a crappy friend. Sorry again, Mandi!

Anyways, since that moment of "shining friendship" on my part I've thought a lot about what I really would like to be when I grow up. And now, here, for the first time, in front of all my really sensitive bloggy friends I offer the deepest career dream of my heart.

I want to be a Jazz Singer. How amazing would it be to wrap my sexy, slinky body around a microphone stand and huskily croon low sultry blues, occasionally reaching for the perfectly pitched high note, to old men in wool fedoras smelling of tobacco and stale booze.

Forget for a moment that even before seven pregnancies and seven billion extra calories slinky was never an adjective used to describe my body and that I can't exactly sing. I really love this vision of myself.

Go ahead LAUGH! I deserve it.

8 comments:

Barbaloot said...

Ooh-fun dream job:)
I'd like to be a chocolatier. I'd love to work with chocolate all day and make really good things to eat. And part of the dream is that I could eat all I wanted and never get fat.

LeShel said...

Jazz Singer! I love it!

Chief said...

I didn't laugh, really! I more sat there with my eyes as big as saucers and my mouth agape.

Cowboy mom said...

hmf (cough) Hmfff hee hee ahem hee Hee HEEE HAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAA AAAHHH HHHHAAAAAA HHHHAAAAAAA HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! AHEM HAAAAAA HAAAAAA GASP!!!! HAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA HEEE hEEE HEEEEEEE HHAAAA OHH HMF HAA HAA HAAA HEEEEEEE HEEE HEEEEEEE GASP!!! GASP!!!! GASP AHHHHHH SOMEBODY HELP ME HAAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAA haaa haaaa heeee he.


There Ya go Mandi She deserved it.

Mummy McTavish said...

AAaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... GASP... hahahahahahahahahahahahah... *wipes tear from eye* aaaahhh, good stuff, I say go for it.

The jazz singer I saw a few weeks ago was neither sexy, nor slinky. Think Fran's mum off The Nanny in a dress fitting tight to the thigh and spreading (what should have on a smaller person been) delicately out and forming a small train. Similar style make up too. Her band reminded me more of ZZ Top in suits. Husky would describe her voice... but so would phone-sex worker.

So REACH FOR THAT DREAM! and be assured that there is at least one jazz singer out there worse than you!

Techno Grandma said...

Cowboy Mom, that has got to be the funniest written laugh I have ever read-heard. I can't stop laughing even though (Its the middle of the night and everyone here is awake because I can't stop laughing at your laugh. The baby may never go back to sleep!! Its parents are mad.
How do you laugh like that with only letters?

hknight said...

You kill me! What a fun career choice though! My sister in law just posted a cool jazz club she went to while in Paris,you should apply there!

mandi said...

Thanks, Cowboy Mom, at least SOMEONE'S got my back.

But I will not laugh at your dream, Susan. Because I'm SUPPORTIVE like that.

Feel worse now?

J/K It's ok, I got over it. You just added fuel to my fire. Just wait.....I'll show you! Someday I'll prosecute you for unbecoming conduct in a jazz club! Then we'll see who's laughing.

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