Isaac: Mom, I think the boiled eggs are done because almost all the water has disintegrated. (My first grader going on bio-chemistry doctorate, minus a definition or two. But seriously, what first grader knows the principles of evaporation and disintegration well enough to confuse the two, let alone the words?)
Joseph: Mom, there's such a thing as boy mermaids...they're called sharks.(The Disney version of a misunderstood but delightful teenage mermaid/girl with cute little fishy companions and a smitten prince isn't often watched at our house, go figure. So, based on the traditional view of mermaids as man luring temptresses, a shark seems a fitting description of their male counterpart. Let's hope Joseph is thinking of Bruce and his buddies from Disney's Nemo.)
Joseph:(holding a gun left at our house by his little cousin Kenneth) Mom, whatever toys Kenneth leaves at our house are mine.
Mom: What if you leave your toys at Kenneth's house? (lame attempt at teaching empathy 1)
Joseph: If I leave my toys at Kenneth's house, they are Kenneth's. But I never leave my toys at Kenneth's house.
Mom: What if you forget a toy there on accident? (lame attempt at empathy 2)
Joseph: I won't but if Kenneth leaves his toys here wah, wah, wah. (sung in a decrescendo death knoll)
Adams' biggest three year old fear (birds is a recent one)is sirens. Whenever he hears a siren no matter how faintly he runs for the house screaming, "The cops are gonna get me!" it makes us all laugh, with just a 'titch' of concern for his future, too think of the cops hauling Adam to toddler jail. So I asked him, "Adam what would the cops do if they got you?"
Adam: They'd throw me in dail. (bottom lip quivers)
Mom: Who's Dale?
Adam: The cops' dail (he doesn't get my witty attempt at levity)
Mom: What happens in jail?
Adam: They flush the toilet and put me in it.
Mom: Umm, wouldn't that be a violation of your Miranda rights?
Benjamin and I were trying to figure out Ancient Egyptian fractions, Ben thought it was crap, he just couldn't believe that Ancient Egyptians had fractions (fractions in general are not so much a math concept as a torture concept to Ben).
Benjamin: Ancient Egyptians did not know fractions, This is so stupid.
Mom: How do you think they built pyramids?
Benjamin: They didn't build the pyramids, we don't know who built the pyramids, maybe aliens.
Mom: (muttered) Stupid Discovery channel. Come on hon, lets just get it done, OK, this says, Ancient Egyptians used only fractions...
Benjamin: THEYDIDN'THAVEFRACTIONS! (as a sneeze)
The wisdom of little minds. It changes your views of the world as it tickles the funny bone.