Thursday, March 27, 2008

Little Minds

I'm always lecturing teaching important little lessons to my boys so it's inevitable only fair that they will, from time to time, enlighten me with choice bits of knowledge from their amazing little minds. Here are a few cute ones.

Isaac: Mom, I think the boiled eggs are done because almost all the water has disintegrated. (My first grader going on bio-chemistry doctorate, minus a definition or two. But seriously, what first grader knows the principles of evaporation and disintegration well enough to confuse the two, let alone the words?)

Joseph: Mom, there's such a thing as boy mermaids...they're called sharks.(The Disney version of a misunderstood but delightful teenage mermaid/girl with cute little fishy companions and a smitten prince isn't often watched at our house, go figure. So, based on the traditional view of mermaids as man luring temptresses, a shark seems a fitting description of their male counterpart. Let's hope Joseph is thinking of Bruce and his buddies from Disney's Nemo.)

Joseph:(holding a gun left at our house by his little cousin Kenneth) Mom, whatever toys Kenneth leaves at our house are mine.

Mom: What if you leave your toys at Kenneth's house? (lame attempt at teaching empathy 1)

Joseph: If I leave my toys at Kenneth's house, they are Kenneth's. But I never leave my toys at Kenneth's house.

Mom: What if you forget a toy there on accident? (lame attempt at empathy 2)

Joseph: I won't but if Kenneth leaves his toys here wah, wah, wah. (sung in a decrescendo death knoll)

Adams' biggest three year old fear (birds is a recent one)is sirens. Whenever he hears a siren no matter how faintly he runs for the house screaming, "The cops are gonna get me!" it makes us all laugh, with just a 'titch' of concern for his future, too think of the cops hauling Adam to toddler jail. So I asked him, "Adam what would the cops do if they got you?"

Adam: They'd throw me in dail. (bottom lip quivers)

Mom: Who's Dale?

Adam: The cops' dail (he doesn't get my witty attempt at levity)

Mom: What happens in jail?

Adam: They flush the toilet and put me in it.

Mom: Umm, wouldn't that be a violation of your Miranda rights?

Benjamin and I were trying to figure out Ancient Egyptian fractions, Ben thought it was crap, he just couldn't believe that Ancient Egyptians had fractions (fractions in general are not so much a math concept as a torture concept to Ben).

Benjamin: Ancient Egyptians did not know fractions, This is so stupid.

Mom: How do you think they built pyramids?

Benjamin: They didn't build the pyramids, we don't know who built the pyramids, maybe aliens.

Mom: (muttered) Stupid Discovery channel. Come on hon, lets just get it done, OK, this says, Ancient Egyptians used only fractions...

Benjamin: THEYDIDN'THAVEFRACTIONS! (as a sneeze)

The wisdom of little minds. It changes your views of the world as it tickles the funny bone.


Tiffany said...

Poor little Adam. I wonder which one of his older brothers told him about Dale??? You tell him his Aunt Tiffany would never let him go to Dale! I'm friends with all the policemen. Aaron on the other hand...

Jenny said...

You do know that Adams fear of the police stems from one of Jacobs control techniques right? And no doubt the whole swirly thing came from one of his older brothers too.

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