Monday, April 28, 2008

A Christian Womens' Dilemma

Yesterday as I went hoarse shushing 4, 5, 6 & 7 for an hour and 30 minuets during sacrament meeting. I was carried away in pondering a thought that starts my hands twitching every friggin' Sunday often crosses my mind as a church going, Christian women and mother...

If your children fight over who gets to pass the sacrament tray is it permissible to whack them in the back of the head with your scriptures? You'd think that this is one time when a properly applied dose of the word of God is a justifiable remedy to sibling on sibling violence?

I do believe telling a child that whacking will get you whacked, whacks... er, smacks of hypocrisy, although I'm pretty sure whoever noticed that handy little tid-bit of parenting illogic wasn't taking seven sons to church. It just seems to me that this is one situation when it would really feel righteous to practice the laying on of hands, scriptures, whatever.

I do however feel that wanting to whack the speaker in the back of the head with my scriptures just because he has taken 15 minutes more then the allotted time isn't very Christian. And refusing to teach my three year old that Apple Jacks are not Ass Jacks because it's pretty funny to take a Baggie of Ass Jacks to church to keep him quiet just might bump me into the heathen category.


Tiffany said...

If you're in the heathen category then I'm right along with ya. There's a woman who has 5 really small children...the oldest can't be more than 6...and during the entire time they sit there like little angels. Never making a peep. Secretly, I like to tell myself she drugs them before church. That's the only way, right? How are you suppose to feel the Spirit when you don't hear anything and you are walking the halls the whole time. Hey, at least on Sundays I get my exercise. Maybe her kids act up while I'm walking around??? And she never takes them out that's why I never see her walk the halls and she lets them just scream during sacrament. Yep, that's what happens. Now I feel better.

Cowboy mom said...

Sunday I decided I had to get Chance under control before this baby gets here. So I decided I'd do the old fashioned Take 'em out and spank 'em. The first time. It worked We went back in and he was a perfect little angel for 10 minutes. the second time I grabbed him stood up walked out and whacked his little tush. He looked at me and said "What?" I replied with "You don't get up and run around durring Church." and spanked him again Which caused the exact same response only a little more emphasized. He turned looked right in my face with a puzzled expression and said"WHAT?" Sigh...... I guess it takes more then one week of determination. And a heck of lot more explaining. Or else I could risk a Child abuse charge and really whack him. scriptures or not.

S'mee said...

Waaay back in the day when we had 5 little ones it was like tag team midget wrestling. A few things we did that (sort of) helped:

Quiet time at the same time as church M-F, some took naps then, others *had* to be quiet during that three hour block during the day...books, crayons, whatever, just quiet.

While at church, if they needed to be taken out, they were "taken out" if you get my drift, it wasn't a pleasant experience when they left the chapel. We found an empty room and they pretty much got a lecture and a firm sit down in a corner without discussion.

I had a small drawing of a child, arms folded, sitting *perfectly*, with a thought bubble that had a photo of a painting of Christ in it. I used that blue gooey stuff and planted it on the pew in front of us and would point accordingly when needed.

I learned some sign language and taught the kids. If they saw a certain sign, they knew death was fast approaching.

I packed a small snack. I made ONE pbj sammich and cut it into triangles. Did the same with an apple. The nano second Sacrament was over I rushed the kids to the car, shoved a triangle and slice of apple down their gullet and then popped them into the potties, then off to primary and I would be in RS by the opening song.

IF there was monkey binness there was 5 minutes earlier in bed for each infraction...they hated that.

Consistency. It was harder to train myself than to train them, but once I did, wow.

In the meantime, your triple combination *is* soft and a good thump may not be a bad idea. Wish I had thought of it.

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