Saturday, November 8, 2008

Naughty American Cancer Society

Finding good reading material at the Doctors office is a very difficult task. A sick mom does not need Time magazine or a Highlights For Kids magazine with the answers to the jokes ripped out. A mom with sick kids needs a fairly recent addition of smutty Hollywood gossip about famous trips to rehab and who's having whose baby, not Parents Magazine or 'heavens preserve us,' Sports Illustrated.

My doctor is a nice enough guy but his office is criminally short of decent reading material. I do not want to lose myself in a church magazine while my suddenly symptom free children dismantle the slide-the-bead-thingy and leave germy little hand prints on the fish tank glass.

On a recent visit I grabbed a pink brochure by the American Cancer Society entitled How To Do Breast Self Examination. I wasn't anxious to improve this under appreciated self diagnostic skill but I sure as heck wasn't going to read a two year old issue of Popular Mechanics.

If I thought the American Cancer Society was going to offer up a boring yet informative one page guide on Breast self exams, I was oh so wrong. Yes it was the usual stuff about using your finger pads to circle the breast tissue looking for lumps or differences but two little suggestions caught my attention:

" Try to copy the way your health care provider uses the finger pads during a breast exam."

"You might want to do a breast self-exam while you're in the shower. Your soapy hands will glide over the wet skin making it easy to check how your breasts feel."

So I'm in the shower sliding my wet soapy finger pads over my wet soapy breasts thinking about my Doctors hands on my breasts... I'm sorry American Cancer Society but, that's just naughty!


Irishmama said...

But it worked. You read it and followed their instructions.

I did a blog post just because you asked.

Montgomery Q said...

I think of my dentists hands, cause I know them better.

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