Forget those jaw dropping, eye bugging cuss words, the most dreaded word in a child's burgeoning vocabulary may be WHY!
No word has more power to embarrass, infuriate, or traumatize a parent. No word can create such spluttering, stammering or blatant lying from an adult who suddenly has to come up with a plausible explanation to, WHY?
Last night I was locking doors for the night when #5 used the dreaded word... "Why do you lock the doors at night?" Then he answered himself with another why, "Why do people rob houses?" Then he turned the force of his WHY attack on me.
"Have we ever been robbed?" he asked, sneakily leaving out the WHY in a stealthy defense lowering move.
Oh! Oh! Oh! I know this one! Pick Me! "No sweetie our house has never been robbed."
Then he hit me hard right in the parental plexus with a full frontal WHY, "Why haven't we ever been robbed, Mom?" he asked with deceptive innocence.
"Uhhh, Ummmm, Well... Go To Bed!" He went to bed without an answer.
Not me, all night I lay awake wondering WHY???
Why have we never been robbed?
Is it my stellar door locking skills? Hmm, no, I forget half the time.
Maybe it's the testosterone haze that hangs over our house? Doesn't testosterone increase the tendency toward criminal behavior? Can't be that.
Maybe we don't have anything worth robbing? But what about Hole In The Head Woody, we have good stuff 'round here!
Maybe it's me? Not only have I never had a stalker, I've never had a robber either... sob.
OK, time for a sleeping pill.
See what WHY does? It's a naughty word, no child should use it.