Friday, March 27, 2009

What The ...Fridays

I don't know when I first heard of Funnel Cakes, maybe Regis and Kathie Lee, I haven't watched in many, many years, sorry Reg... you need to retire and Kelly...Not! Anywho, what's not delish' about deep fried dough (Wikipedia informs me it's batter, not dough) so, deep fried batter, cooked by a carnival worker(another little Wikipedia revelation) covered in powdered sugar? Just doesn't get any better.

A few weeks ago one of my neighbors came by with her little 4H girls (4H is like Girl Scouts) they were selling cookie dough. Now I need to spend 17 dollars on a tub of cookie dough, which won't even come close to how many cookies I need to make at a time, like I need to give birth to Octuplets. But, I confess, I'm a sucker for door to door salespeople, by the time their solicitous souls have left my doorstep I will know where they grew up and with how many siblings, what their hopes dreams and aspirations are and will most likely have fed them a hearty meal and lined them up with an eligible member of the opposite sex. I wish this was an exaggeration!

So I obligingly perused the cookie dough brochure, commenting on how fun 4H was when I was a girl, and what were their projects for the county fair? Ah ha! Funnel cake mix. I've heard of funnel cakes but never eaten them I'll by a $17 tub of funnel cake mix; we'll pay for the Octuplets out of the next check.

Fast forward to last night at 9:00 PM several of my children were foraging through the kitchen looking for a sweet treat. I suddenly remembered the Funnel Cake Mix. Note-to-self: You have a no food after 9:00PM rule for a reason.

I read the instructions, 2 cups mix, 1 and 1/4 cups water, mix well, pour into hot oil beginning at the middle in slightly overlapping concentric circles, huh... well, if a carnival worker can do it...

The mix claimed to make 30 four inch cakes. I did some rapid math, 10 people x teenage boy appetites = I know, I'll double the batch wouldn't want to run out of fried dough batter, sprinkled with powdered sugar at 10:00 PM.

I peeled the vacuum packing plastic off the top of the tub, powdered flour flew everywhere. I fished out a packet of powdered sugar, more powdered flour rose in a cloud around me. I dumped powder into a four cup measuring pitcher, my clean kitchen and I were now covered with a layer of powdered flour. I added the water, Uhh...didn't the instructions say pour? I added more water, then more, no room left in the pitcher that will have to do. Hot oil is already filling the house with that hot oil smoke, lovely, tilt pitcher starting in the middle of the pan, pour forming concentric slightly overlapping circles.

What the...

This is what a Funnel Cake should look like.



This is how my, What The... Funnel Cakes look.

Turns out, the word Funnel is a clue, you're supposed to actually use a funnel to pour, not a pitcher filled with rapidly expanding, thick batter. It's a little late in coming but the realization that I'll never be a carnival pastry chef has finally dawned on my doughy battered brain.

18 comments:

Gill said...

ROFLMAO that was too funny. I admire your honesty! LOL

Were they edible though?? Did the boys like them? hehe

And when are the Octuplets arriving??Can't wait to see them LOL.

(I once made toffee...smelt like heaven...hubby said if hell had a flavour i had recreated it so really you aren't alone!)

Deb said...

You need to accept it. You'll never be a carny. I know it hurts. It will take some time, but you'll work through it.

Tragically, nine out of ten Americans cannot make their own funnel cake. I'm thinking of starting a foundation and airing several celebrity-ridden PSA's about this silent tragedy.

Heffalump said...

Next you should try churros. They really are much easier to work with. All you need is a cookie press!

LeShel said...

I have never had funnel cakes but it sounds like I'll leave the cooking to the carnival.

Cowboy mom said...

Hmmm.....but if the boy's will eat three week old cookies(I can't remember, maybe it was brownies) made by a cute little teenie bopper girl who likes one of them(boys, that is). I'll bet money your funnel cakes were devoured. I love your blogs!!! My kids all stand around saying "WHAT?" every time I read one. Yeah, I'm laughing.

in time out said...

WOW, I needed to laugh. I am so behind in life. have missed blogging. Thanks for coming by. Happy Friday.

Thanks for the funny, you are such a great story writer...

Tiffany said...

Funnel cakes are my absolute favorite carnival treat! I L-O-V-E them. I don't care if I just ate a 10 course meal before arriving somewhere that offers funnel cakes...I'M GETTING ONE! It's tradition. Yours did look, um, "interesting", but I bet you they tasted WONDERFUL. Except, you need more sugar on top. It's gotta be coated - in excess.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

What a funny post! I must admit that I laughed out loud when I saw your version of a funnel cake. Let's just say, it made the craving go away. :0) How is it that 14 year olds make these all summer long and a talented cook like you didn't do so well?

Obviously, there is a secret that the $17 tub did not share with you.

Thanks for the laugh!

And, I bet the boys goobled them up regardless of their appearance.

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Real Mom, Real Life said...

It seems like I am in the majority here, wanting to know if the boys ate them...

Mine would have... at least the sugar part.

I just can't get over that you agreed to making a latenight snack for your kiddos. What a nice mom... I would have said "tough bananas!"

Maybe that is why there are always crumbs in their sheets.

Sir Nottaguy-Imadad said...

I found you from "Poop on Jelly". Thanks for the laughs this morning.

As a former teenage boy, I would have eaten them even if they tasted like shoe leather. I must agree with Tiffany about needing more sugar. If you can see any part of the funnel cake, it needs more sugar.

Mummy McTavish said...

Eh? it's covered in sugar, I'd eat it. Can you dip them in chocolate?

Since I had no previous knowledge of funnel cakes I wouldnt know the difference either. Mmmmm, deep fried dough smothered in sugar, I'll be round tomorrow!

That Girl in Brazil said...

HA! Fabulous how-to.

Now I'm hungry.

Valerie aka Mamalovelock said...

Oh my goodness that was so funny! Who knew you actually had to use a funnel?!?! I guess just the carnival chef! I love to eat them (haven't had one in years), but I don't think I'll be trying my hand at them anytime soon! I hope it goes better for ya next time!

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Great post! I nearly died laughing.

Did you notice that something has been missing from your blog? It might have appeared around the time I stopped commenting? I’m sorry about all that. I took a little hiatus from the blogosphere, but I couldn’t stay away too long. After a break, I had to come by again and see what you’ve been up to.

Glad that I did.

-Francesca

PS: Thanks for the birthday love!

Lin said...

well, I could tell what was coming but I bet your boys ate them anyway...I remember hungry sons though I only had four of them...

Suey said...

I'm sorry they didn't turn out so great... but I am glad you supported the 4H girls! :)

Suz said...

Don't feel too badly, the carnivals will be starting up soon. I am sure they'll be willing to do some on the job training. Oh, if you decide to venture outside and put oil in the HHR, you should use a funnel there too! Thank goodness the 4H club isn't selling car products door to door.

Seriously, you are a wonderful cook. I am sure you came up with some trick to still make'em taste great.

Octamom said...

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with y....no, no, I'm laughing at you! ;o) Teeheeee!
I am so glad you took a picture for posterity! Awesome!

And I love Gill's hubby's comment about her coffee attempt!

Hugs and blessings!

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