Saturday, January 12, 2008


Richard told me he'd watch the two littlest on Friday so I could have a few hours to myself.

I started at the Doctors office because I have been fighting a UTI. I love my Doctor he rarely gets the whole, superior know it all Cuz' I'm a Doctor thing going; but, today he asked me about my pain, in my interpretation of Doctor language this is like saying to me, your pee doesn't have much bacteria in it are you sure you're sick because I'm thinkin' you may have just decided my office was a really fun place to hang out for your Friday afternoon get away, that I am your new best friend and you have nothing better to do with your day then have me poke you in the kidneys, make you pee all over your hand trying to aim into a pixie size dixie cup, and charge you $100.00 bucks.
I gave him my best, do I look like I've made it to 40 something and can't tell when I've got a UTI look, and asked, "have you ever had a UTI?"
He thinks for a minute and says, "No I can't say that I ever have".
I said "Well with a UTI there is a point as your bladder empties that you start yelling the worst 'bad words' you know and my children don't need Mom adding to their 'bad word' vocabulary". He laughed and said, "I've heard it can cause Turrets Syndrome".
We both got a good laugh over that and he sent me on my way with a Rx.

Next I headed to 'Take Your Screaming Child Shopping Day' at Walmart. I hoped to get my Rx filled and find everything on my shopping list. It was an odds and ends list:

Two gym bags
14 boxes of Mac-n-Cheese
Yearly planner

I stood watching the pharmacy tech type s-l-o-w-e-r t-h-a-n a t-u-r-t-l-e and realized that I would be standing waiting longer then I had planned to spend in the store so I gave up on the Rx and went to find my odds and ends.

Lotion aisle, father and son trying to find just the right mouthwash. They were blocking the whole aisle and the dad kept calling his son "Bubba" I found this amusing because I think of "Bubba" as a nickname for an under 3 year old or a big ole' red neck. This kid was a skinny, trying to be cool, 13 year old.

Gym bags, not in sporting goods, after 15 minuets of playing hide and seek with with the luggage section I found two gym bags for a good price.

Pens and a Planner easy to find but I got distracted by the nearby Valentines Aisle and ended up buying a bunch of candy and sprinkles for the Primary Activity Day we are planning for February. Primary activities is why I need the pens and planner in the first place.

14 boxes of Mac n Cheese, I didn't exactly need 14 boxes, but, Joseph had asked for frozen mac n cheese, it was 14 cents cheaper then I usually pay and I didn't want to cook dinner before Richard took me on our Friday date so...

On the way to the check stand I found a cute shirt for the gym, cool.

I got in the self checkout line, why are Walmart lines sooo long? The lady ahead of me was going nuts she was talking a hundred miles an hour on her cell phone, fidgeting, eying the number of items in the carts ahead of us and rolling her eyes in exasperation at everyone else checkout speed. at one point she left to see if she could find a shorter line and then came back expecting her spot back. I shouldn't have let her back in but she was making me laugh because she was so stressed out.

I hope that the people in line behind me got a good laugh watching me individually scan 14 boxes of Mac N Cheese and 10 bags of valentines candy. I've decided self checkout is self-delusional way to speed-up checkout lines.

Out in the parking lot I realized that I was walking an aisle away from where I had parked so I tried to cut across slushy snow and ice in between parked cars. Shopping carts do not do well on snow and ice! My cart kept getting stuck trying to go over things as small as a paper or leaf frozen in the snow. I was just about through when I got really stuck, I couldn't push past or around whatever was in the way. I flipped the front end of the cart up in a wheelie and cleared the obstacle with the front wheel only to have the back wheel get stuck on it. I lifted the rear wheel over the obstacle and looked down to see what it was. It was a fish, that's right an eight inch raw fish stuck in the slush in Walmart's parking lot.

I just won't speculate on how a fish ended up in the Walmart parking lot but I ask you... Who goes to the doctor, shops for odds-and-ends and runs over a fish with a shopping cart in the Walmart parking lot on a, 'take a few hours for yourself,' Friday?

A Mom!


Cori Ann said...

I think that kind of stuff only happens to you Susan. A FISH... that is soooo bizarre!!! Better you than me... I would have probably started screaming... quickly followed by sobbing. I'm glad your life is never boring, it makes for some good BLOG reading anyway.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Sorry I deleted the comment. I'll retype. For my couple of hours to myself on Sat. I went to Target and bought Aaron deoderant. SO FUN!! I know I USE to be fun. I just know it.

Our Family

Our Family